Defensive secrets
by Erik's Rose
Summary: AU Lupin notices a talented young witch and gives her private lessons, but what happens when they become too close? I suck at summaries, please RR Rating subject to change for later chapters Let me know what you think of Mirrim in reviews please!
1. Prologue

-1_A/N I do not own Remus Lupin or any other Harry Potter characters but Mirrim Hallows and Alex Roberts are based on my friends therefore belong to me._

_Harry Potter is a registered trademark of Warner Brothers._

_Enjoy!_

_MH/RL AU_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Mirrim was in the library again, poring over a book of curses. It was one of the few books not in the restricted section that focused on how to perform curses rather than block them. Mirrim was fascinated by the dark arts , many of her professors expected her to either join the ministry or take on the role of the defence against the dark arts teacher after completing her studies. She excelled in that particular subject. It was true that Mirrim showed promise in all her subjects, even Professor Snape had, somewhat grudgingly, admitted it, but defence against the dark arts was clearly her forte. She only had to hear an incantation once and she could perform it as though she'd been doing it all her life. Therefore it was Professor Lupin who sung her praises the most. It was not only the practical side she was good at either, her essays were nearly always longer than Professor Lupin asked for and never contained anything irrelevant or uninteresting. In everybody's eyes Mirrim had something extraordinary about her, she was the only student in the school who, in defence against the dark arts, rivalled Harry Potter.

_A/N Sorry it's short but it's only a prologue to introduce Mirrim_

_Please R/R_


	2. Private Lessons

-1 It was when Lupin decided to teach the class about patronus' that Mirrim's talent became all the more apparent. Mirrim was only thirteen but managed to produce a fully fledged patronus in the form of a tiger. It took shape so quickly that some people drew back, for a moment almost believing there was a real tiger in the room with them. Lupin was incredibly impressed, not even Harry Potter had been that good the first time round. Mirrim's talent was incredible, she had a gift and it was being wasted. Mirrim would probably have little trouble in doing an NEWT in defence against the dark arts. Due to her timetable though, there was little chance of that. Something had to be done though, Mirrim was probably perfectly capable of doing an OWL at the very least. By the end of the lesson, Lupin had come to a decision; the best way for Mirrim to improve, excel and perform to the best of her ability was for him to give her private lessons. He may not be the best wizard at defence against the dark arts but he was perfectly qualified to teach her. He asked her to stay behind and she was only too happy to take him up on his offer. So next week their private lessons started and Mirrim progressed at great speed. Within a month Lupin was starting to teach her OWL level and she was doing well. It was in one of these lessons, when Lupin had made a pot of tea and they were having a break, that Mirrim expressed her wish to become an animagus. Lupin wasn't quite sure how to respond. That was transfiguration after all, not his subject. He wondered for a moment if perhaps Mirrim knew something about his school days and what his friends had done.

"Professor? Professor Lupin?" Mirrim's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Sorry Mirrim, I was miles away. Why do you want to be an animagus?" Mirrim thought for a moment.

"I'm not sure exactly, it's just something I'd like to do. Like a life ambition or a goal. I know Professor McGonagall can turn into a cat."

"Which animal would you like to turn into?"

"A tiger."

"Like your patronus?"

"Oh yeah, I hadn't thought of that." They were silent for a moment, then Lupin voiced a question that had been bothering him. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question Mirrim?"

"No, sir."

"When you conjure your patronus, what do you think of?" Mirrim looked away quickly.

"I'd rather not say, sir."

"But surely it's a happy memory?"

"Well, it's not a memory exactly, more like a happy thought. Something that could be." Lupin swallowed.

"Don't you trust me, Mirrim?" Mirrim's head spun to look at him . She looked shocked.

"Of course I trust you Professor, but I don't think I could tell anyone what I think of when I conjure a patronus." Lupin nodded.

"I'm sorry, Mirrim. I understand it must be a private thing. I shouldn't really have asked, I let curiosity get the better of me. Am I forgiven?"

"Of course. It's not your fault you wanted to know." Lupin smiled.

"Then we are still friends?" Mirrim beamed at him.

"Always."

Next week Mirrim was in potions when she felt like someone was looking at her. Looking to the side she saw it was Harry.

"What?" she asked. He seemed to think for a moment.

"I'm not sure exactly, you look different."

"Different? How?"

"Kind of brighter, happier I suppose. Almost like…hang on. Are you in love?"

"What?!"

"Are you in love? You have that look like you are."

"Even if I was in love Harry, it would be none of your business." Mirrim turned away, praying that she wasn't blushing. She was in love, but she didn't want to admit it, even to herself. She wasn't going to tell anyone, it wouldn't do any good. What exactly would she say? How do you explain when you're in love with someone twice your age, someone off limits, when someone is Professor Lupin?


	3. Shared Secrets

-1 "Mirrim? Is something wrong?" Mirrim looked at Lupin, he was looking at her with concern. "You've been very distracted lately. Won't you tell me what's wrong?" Mirrim swallowed hard, she was absolutely dying to tell Lupin how she felt about him, but it was impossible.

"I'm just tired, sir."

"Well you have been working hard. Let's forget the lesson for today, we'll resume when you're feeling up to it." Lupin smiled, Mirrim left quickly to hide the fact she was blushing, she ran into Alex Roberts, a Ravenclaw she knew had hit Harry Potter two years ago for insulting Snape. She was a year above her and was said to be delighted by the fact Harry had been held back a year.

"Hi, you're Mirrim aren't you?"

"Um, yeah." Mirrim frowned, unsure as to why Alex was talking to her.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Okay."

"Are you in love with Professor Lupin?" Mirrim was so shocked she forgot to deny it.

"How on earth did you know?" Alex grabbed Mirrim's wrist and pulled her into an empty classroom. Alex turned to Mirrim.

"Remember those rumours about Professor Snape and I?"

"You mean about him…and you…being…involved?"

Yes. They're a little closer to the truth than people think." Mirrim just stared at Alex. "We're not actually involved." Alex said quickly. "But…that doesn't mean I don't want us to be."

"Oh." Mirrim smiled humourlessly.

"Funny isn't it, both of us madly in love, both trying to hide it, both dying inside from the pain." Mirrim stared at the floor, swallowed hard and nodded. Alex placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it gets harder. Just get used to adoring him at a distance. That's how I survive." Mirrim nodded and smiled slightly, grateful for Alex's advice, even if it was painful. It wasn't until a week later, that Mirrim understood exactly what Alex had meant. Before she'd spoken to Alex, Mirrim hadn't really admitted to herself how she felt about Lupin. Knowing she wasn't alone as she'd thought, made her realise exactly how she felt about her teacher. Now when she looked at him, she didn't see a talented professor she admired, she saw the man she adored, the love of her life, the object of her affection. When they were together in their private lessons he stopped being Lupin to her and became Remus. Although she never addressed him as such, that was who she saw him as. Alex was right, it only got harder.


	4. Learning to Cope

-1 About a fortnight after Alex had spoken to Mirrim, rumours about her and Snape had started up again. Apparently she'd called him Severus and it had sparked off suspicion and cruelty. Those who disliked Snape we using it to discredit him and insinuate that he had more than a professional interest in Alex. Those who disliked Alex were suggesting she was trying to seduce Snape for her own interests. Those who disliked them both were creating connections between Alex's reputation as an accomplished potions maker and Snape's attitude towards her. Favouritism simply didn't cover it. After all, Alex was a Ravenclaw, even a Slytherin would have been bombarded with comments after everything that had happened. Although events had little to do with Mirrim, they worried her. Lupin may not share the amount of dislike that Snape was faced with by students, but any whisper of an affair between him and a student would spark rumours and speculation of a similar kind to those Alex and Snape had to endure. Mirrim knew that if she ever made the mistake that Alex had and give people ammunition to attack her and Lupin with she would never forgive herself. Where Snape and Alex were strong (and Snape at least was used to insults and prejudice), Lupin was gentle, not soft or weak, but Mirrim got the impression that cruel rumours would hurt and affect him more than they did Snape.

"What kind of wand is that, Mirrim?"

"Ten inches, phoenix feather, willow." Lupin's eyebrows rose.

A rare combination Miss Hallows. Much like yourself really. Perhaps it is true when they say the wand chooses the wizard...or the witch in this case." He smiled. Mirrim smiled back, but didn't understand why he was so interested. "You know Mirrim, phoenix feathers are often a good core for defensive spells as well as the dark arts. It is no wonder you're a rare and talented witch with a wand like that." Mirrim was a little confused. It was obvious he was paying her a compliment but she couldn't work out what he was complimenting her on. Her rarity? Uniqueness? Skill? Personality? Individuality?

"I'm afraid I don't follow what you're trying to say professor."

"Sorry Mirrim. It's just…you're so unique, there's something about you that's significantly different and I'm trying to figure out exactly what it is." Mirrim looked away. There was something different about him too, and it was killing her. How did Alex cope? Did she lie awake at night thinking of Snape like Mirrim did with Lupin? Did she lose her appetite and spend her days wishing things were different? Mirrim hadn't really observed how Alex looked when they'd talked, but when she saw her now she noticed dark shadows underneath Alex's eyes. Alex didn't seem to eat much and sometimes looked as if she was miles away, lost in thought. She was going through exactly the same thing.

It wasn't until Mirrim was fourteen that Lupin noticed the change in her.

"You look very pale Mirrim, are you feeling alright?"

"Fine, sir." Lupin noticed the shadows underneath Mirrim's eyes.

"You're sleeping alright?"

"Yes, sir." Mirrim frowned, wondering where all Lupin's sudden concern was coming from. Lupin was getting worried, Mirrim insisted she was fine but, truth be told, she looked ill. She didn't look awful, Lupin doubted she'd looked awful a day in her life, but she looked drained, almost detached.

You must look after yourself, Mirrim. You're brain is not the only part of you that needs stimulation and substance. Are you eating enough?" Mirrim didn't know what to say to this. She knew full well she wasn't eating as well as she should, her thoughts were so full of him there was little room for food. On more than one occasion she would break from work or her thoughts only to realise she'd missed a meal. When she didn't miss one she often didn't feel like eating. Her prolonged pause, averted eyes and hesitation were enough to confirm Lupin's suspicions and set alarm bells ringing.

"Alright, Miss Hallows here's how it's going to work. You come to our lessons earlier and have something like a snack and a drink. Half-way through we have a ten minute break with refreshments then at the and we have a meal, agreed?" Mirrim was slightly taken aback, but simply nodded. "And make sure you get enough sleep. Oh wait, you said you were." Damn! She hadn't. He'd asked if she was sleeping alright, she was. She didn't mention it was often no more than two or three hours. Lupin noticed her twitch. "You're not sleeping much either are you?" His voice was low and gentle. "Is something troubling you? Please tell me, I may be able to help." Mirrim couldn't take it any more, she simply couldn't. She clearly wasn't as strong as Alex. It was hard enough to love Lupin so completely, but he didn't have to make it harder by loving her in such a platonic impersonal way.

"Please sir, you are only my teacher. I will agree to let you help me get back to eating properly, but my personal problems are my own." She left quickly, ordering herself not to cry. If it carried on like this he would break her, and the feelings she'd hidden for so long would spill out. She couldn't let that happen, he couldn't know how she felt. It would ruin everything, she wasn't prepared to lose him, and if that meant going back to formalities she was going to do it. She couldn't lose him, not now. She looked out of a window, she saw Alex sitting by the lake, she looked miserable. This was how it was, and it wasn't going to end. Both Mirrim and Alex were going to be unhappy forever, because they were in incurable love, and it was never, going to be returned.


	5. Brief Thoughts

**A/N Okay, please don't kill me. I know it has taken me forever to update but here is what happened. I was writing this for a friend in a notebook and had got quite far than the notebook disappeared, eep! Anyway I'm going to rewrite it on here now and I wrote some of it in another notebook so will move on to that in the not too distant future all being well. I am really sorry to my reviewers and anyone who read this and didn't review but wanted more, I am back. Warning though, I have a one year old baby so updates may take a while but I promise they will come more regularly than once every two or three years. Apologies again and here's the first update. Thank you to Klopfer for inspiring it.**

Remus tapped his quill against a piece of parchment absently, trying to decide what to do. Mirrim's outburst had surprised him. They had been getting along very well in their private lessons. Mirrim was progressing beautifully and they had been more friends than teacher and student for almost a year. He had only recently noticed the change in her appearance though, and it wasn't good. He wondered why it had taken him so long to notice Mirrim getting thinner and the dark circles forming around her eyes. She was an attractive girl but her appearance had definitely worsened over the months. It was not good, a witch as talented as her should take care of herself. He himself couldn't understand what had happened. Had he pushed her too hard perhaps? It would explain a loss of appetite and sleepless nights. Maybe he had just gone too far and his offer of helping had been the final straw. Mirrim was an independent girl and, although everyone needed guidance at times, maybe he'd taken to dominating her without realising it. It would seem stifling to a girl like Mirrim to be given such instruction as he sometimes gave her. She wasn't an idiot and he had been rehashing the basics perhaps more than was necessary, What to do though?

In the end, Remus decided to give it a few days to let the dust settle, than apologise for his overbearingness and see if he and Mirrim could salvage what was left of their precarious friendship.

Mirrim walked along the deserted corridor trying to decide what to do. She couldn't go on as she was, it was just too hard. How pathetic was it in a school full of boys that she had to fall for a teacher. She didn't even have a preference for older men, not that she had a preference at all. She wasn't sure what exactly it was that she found so attractive about him. He wasn't stunningly handsome, he wasn't the most powerful of wizards, he wasn't gifted with endless knowledge or anything that she assumed made people attractive. She supposed it was the slight sense of mischief she saw behind his eyes, the slight air of boyish charm he sometimes seemed to have held on to from his youth. He struck her as the kind of man who had not always been quite as upstanding as he appeared to be. Maybe it was that air of mystery that attracted her. Lupin also seemed to be hiding something, like there was something about himself he wanted to shake off but couldn't it intrigued her and gave him an edge of danger that she found engaging. However or why ever it was, it certainly wasn't going away.

**Sorry it's so short, it felt like the end of a chapter and I want to crack on. I don't like this chapter much but I felt it was needed, feel free to correct me :)**


	6. Lovesick

**A/N Greetings oh faithful followers, finally updated! Must get back to enjoying this, hated the last chapter, hope this is better**

**Regards**

For a whole year almost nothing seemed to happen. The rumours about Alex and Snape died down, Mirrim and Lupin, despite Lupin's apology, went back to being no more than teacher and student. Alex and Mirrim were changing though. One day found them both waiting to see Dumbledore after being summoned, they looked at each other. Both were drawn, thin and tired. They were rapidly becoming shadows of their former selves.

"Hurts doesn't it? Sucks."

"How did you cope for so long?"

"I coped." Alex shrugged. She was good at giving the impression of not caring but it didn't hide her appearance. They were silent, both lost in thought, both wishing for what couldn't be, having no idea that at that same moment, Snape and Lupin were having a rare conversation.

"It doesn't make sense, Lupin."

"It makes sense with you!"

"My being in love with Alex is not the same as how you feel about Miss Hallows."

"It's exactly the same thing, Snape. We're both in love with girls who are not only half our age but are our students. What do you do?"

"All I can. I went to great lengths to find out all I could about her then used it to try and make her happy."

"How on earth did you manage to do that discreetly? It's not exactly something you make a habit of doing."

Alex is a talented potions maker, one of the few I come across at this school, It's natural I'd be interested. I spoke to Flitwick about her. When I found out Alex's favourite food I made sure the house elves served it on her birthday." Lupin stared at Snape.

"That's it?"

"Well what else could I do? If what you say is true Lupin then you know how hard this is. I do what I can, I content myself with what I can. Like her decking Potter in my defence." Lupin couldn't help but laugh. Despite his fondness for his late friends' son, it had been a funny story that had been circulated, most especially by the Slytherins, who had unofficially made Alex their house hero, despite her being a Ravenclaw.

"So that's it then, you do what you can. You do know she's sixteen soon."

"Don't be ridiculous Remus, She'd never feel that way about me."

"Now on that point I do agree that you and Alex are different from Mirrim and I. There's no hope for me, but if you paid a little more attention you may realise that there seems to be more truth to the rumours than people are aware." Snape froze, the turned slowly to look at Lupin.

"You cannot be serious."

"Pay close attention in the next lesson Severus, if there is a chance for the two of you then take it. Not all of us have the good fortune to have requited love."

Mirrim shifted from one foot to the other nervously, waiting for Alex to leave Dumbledore's office. Mirrim had no idea what was being said but whatever it was, it was taking a while. Mirrim had just started to wonder whether or not it was worth counting the bricks in the wall when Alex practically flew out of Dumbledore's office and dashed down the stairs. If it hadn't been for the obvious look of happiness Mirrim saw on her face she would have assumed the worst. Mirrim cautiously entered Dumbledore's office, he was standing by his desk, smiling.

"Do come in, Miss Hallows." He gestured to the chair opposite his. Mirrim slowly walked up to the desk and sat down, fixing her eyes on the floor.

"There's no need to be worried Mirrim. I merely asked you to come and see me because many members of staff are worried about you." Mirrim looked up at this, slightly confused. Dumbledore smiled sympathetically before continuing.

"There are no two ways about it Miss Hallows, you don't look well. You look tired, drawn, thin, as though you haven't slept or eaten well for a year."

"I haven't sir." Mirrim anticipated Dumbledore's unspoken, though heavily implied, question. Dumbledore nodded.

"I thought as much." He was silent for a moment. "Am I correct in the assumption Miss Hallows, that the reason for the alteration in you is similar to that of Miss Roberts'?" For a moment Mirrim considered denying any knowledge of Alex's reason, but then assumed correctly that Dumbledore already knew the answer. She simply nodded.

"I trust that it's a different Professor, Miss Hallows."

"Yes sir."

"Might I inquire as to who?"

"Professor Lupin." Dumbledore visibly atarted, he had hoped his suspicions had been incorrect and that it was a different and more obvious teacher, Firenze perhaps. He wasn;t quite sure what to say, it was hardly his place to reveal Lypin's secret. Regardless of Mirrim's feelings, he had promised faithfully that nothing short of a life or death situation would prompt him to imform anyone beyond the staff. Mirrim was staring at the floor, wondering what Dumbledore was going to saynext. A tense silence descended on the room. Dumbledore almost wished he could tell Mirrim a similar story to the one he'd told Alex, but there was no sense in that. Dumbledore had no idea how Lupin felt about Mirrim, and even if he did she was only fifteen. Still a child, even in the wizarding world. It was a dilemma. For Dumbledore it was a rare situation, he had no idea what to do. Mirrim was well and truly lovesick and he was at a loss as to how to cure it.


	7. Getting Harder

**A/N Two updates in two days! Shock, horror! Hope it pleases you**

**Kindest Regards**

**ER**

Lupin tapped his quill on the table, it was no good, he couldn't concentrate. He'd made the ultimate mistake and it was getting difficult to handle. It was true that Snape had done the same thing, but that wasn't the point. Falling in love with a student was simply not something he could afford to do. He was lucky to have a job, Dumbledore knew his secret and trusted him, his feelings jeopardised his future in more ways than one. He and Mirrim had fallen out after all. Lupin was glad he hadn't told Mirrim his secret, it would have pushed them even further apart. At least they still had a reasonably good student/teacher relationship going. How on earth did Snape cope with his strictly platonic relationship with Alex? Was he really content with loving her from a distance? At least with their relationship there was a chance for it to progress further than would be deemed appropriate by most. Lupin wasn't the only one who had noticed the way Alex looked at Snape. Mirrim however, was entirely different. Even if it were possible for her to feel something for him, that would redoubtably change the second he revealed his secret. No woman in her right mind would ever love a man like him.

Mirrim leant against a tree by the lake, she felt terrible. The lack of sleep and food had finally taken its toll. The meeting with Dumbledore had been pretty pointless, if anything it had made things worse. Any lingering hope Mirrim had,had of Lupin ever thinking of her as more than a student had been completely crushed by Dumbledore's insistence that nothing would ever happen. Lupin was a sensible man and not at all prone to falling in love, especially not with people less than half his age. It simply wasn't fair. Whatever Dumbledore had said to Alex, it was definitely a hell of a lot better than what he'd said to Mirrim. She sighed then closed her eyes and sank to the ground. She breathed deeply, the cool clear air around her was soothing and calming, she felt herself relax. It was pleasant, just to sit and let her mind empty. What Mirrim didn't realise however, was when she relaxed and let her mind empty, her pain forgot to hide itself. Every ounce of hurt she was feeling about her situation was clearly and blatantly written all over her face for the whole world, including one confused werewolf, to see.

Lupin glanced out of the window. Mirrim was sitting by the lake. He leaned forward to see her better. She looked lovely out there. The sun caught in her hair making it glisten, the soft breeze made strands of it sway slightly, caressing her face. He was suddenly very jealous of her hair. Her legs were stretched out in front of her, her arms rested carelessly on her lap, she looked incredibly peaceful. She would never look that way with him, completely relaxed and transparent. He could see from her transparency, that she was terribly upset about something. He knew that she'd gone to see Dumbledore, he and the other professors had felt in necessary to voice their concerns about her health recently. It was clear that whatever had transpired in Dumbledore's office had not been particularly helpful. He sighed, maybe he should go and talk to Dumbledore himself, share his problem with the man who had helped him so many times before. Was it worth it? Should he bother Dumbledore with a problem that seemed so trivial? Dumbledore had more important things to deal with than a lovesick Defence Against The Dark Arts professor. Then again...there had been a rumour Snape had gone to see him, looking upset, a few months ago. No, that was most definitely different. Snape's feelings were clearly reciprocated, Lupin's were not. All the same, he knew talking to Dumbledore would help, if only slightly, and what harm could it possibly do?

**A/N Kind of a cliffhanger and short I know. I will wotk on more though. Please review!**

**Kindest Regards**

**ER**


	8. Lessons again

Dumbledore sighed and tried not to laugh. If he didn't know better he'd think someone had cast a spell to make all the professors fall in love with their best students. An image of Professor Flitwick falling for Albert Draton swiftly entered his mind, which made it even harder not to laugh. First Severus and Alex now Remus and Mirrim. It really was a unique situation. He had thought Severus and Alex's situation had been strange enough but Remus falling in love with a student was just plain inconceivable.

"I know it's a bizarre and entirely inappropriate way for me to feel but it's becoming hard to deal with and I was just wondering if perhaps you could give me some advice." There was a distinctly hopeful tone to Remus' words. Dumbledore steepled his fingers and regarded Remus over the top of his moon-rimmed spectacles. Despite the situation being more than similar to that between Alex and Severus, there were many more obstacles. For one, Remus was a werewolf, that in of itself was a major problem. Mirrim may like Remus now but if he revealed his secret to her would she have the same prejudices as everyone else? There was also the problem of Mirrim's rather questionable heritage. Remus was not one to judge but even Dumbledore was sure he would baulk at learning her secret. A relationship with a student would pose problems for anyone but with Remus and Mirrim there would be many secrets that both would be unwilling to reveal even to each other. Even so, it was clear that the problems they already had with being in love were a real hindrance to their health if nothing else. Dumbledore sighed.

"I have to say Remus, the only thing I think I can really suggest is that you talk to Miss Hallows about how you are feeling. If she feels the same you have my leave to do as you please, if she does not then you can get over her and move on." Of course, Dumbledore knew how Mirrim felt, but he did not really feel that under the circumstances it was his place to say. Remus frowned.

"I don't know if I can do that headmaster, after all, she is so very young, still a child and I care for her. I don't think I could bear to lose her friendship over this."

"Can you bear hiding this any better?" Remus sighed, No, he couldn't. He couldn't keep feeling this way without some kind of direction, At least if Mirrim rejected him he'd have the closure he needed to move on and lose his feelings. He would have to be careful though, it wasn't just something you blurted out off hand in the middle of a conversation.

Next week saw Mirrim and Remus resuming their private lessons with Remus making sure Mirrim ate. Neither told the other how they felt but their friendship was slowly being restored. Both found with at least that, they got to see each other. Both were still slightly afraid to let something slip. Mirrim concluded that if she did accidentally reveal to Remus how she felt about him, she could always cover herself by acting as though it was a careless off hand comment about their friendship or a joke she thought he might find amusing. Remus concluded that he could control himself, he was a professional after all and had good practise at hiding his feelings.

The only other thing that plagued their mind, was that in two months Mirrim would take her OWL in DADA. After that they would have one year to prepare for her NEWT in the subject and then neither would really have any reason to see each other, friendship or no friendship. They were still student and teacher after all. They tried not to think about that. With two very prominent thoughts being pushed to the back of the minds of both individuals, it wasn't log before Mirrim's other interests came to feature in their conversations.

"I seem to remember Mirrim, your desire to become an animagus. A tiger I believe?"

"Yes sir." There was a short pause.

"Have you spoken to Professor McGonagall about it at all?"

"I mentioned once that I thought it would be brilliant to become one, and she said that it does have it's advantages but our conversation didn't go any further. I suppose mine is very different from hers, still a cat but a vast difference in size." Remus nodded.

"Maybe you should ask her about it, you're a little young to attempt to achieve it but it's worth learning as much as you can so you'll have a better chance of doing it when you come of age." They sat in comfortable silence until Mirrim ad finished eating. Her colour was starting to come back and she seemed a little healthier and happier now, especially during their lessons. She had pretty much mastered all she needed to to complete her OWL, it was more practise than anything else. Remus could tell her power was increasing, her patronus could last a full five minutes now. When it got to the end of the lesson, Remus decided he might as well ask how soon after her OWL she would wish to start studying for her NEWT.

"Do you wish to start pretty much instantaneously or would you rather have a break?"

"I think it makes sense to start as soon as possible, I think the theory will take the longest time."

"Yes I believe that the practical side should be less strenuous. How are your theoretical studies coming?"

"Well, I believe putting them into practice every day helps, I'm remembering the mechanics quite well." Remus nodded.

"Well I think we're pretty much done for today. I'll see you tomorrow Mirrim."

"Bye, Professor." Mirrim left, a little quickly, though Remus was trying so hard to keep the pounding of his heart under control. Mirrim went straight to the Gryffindor common room. She needed noise and distraction, anything to keep her thoughts from wondering back down the corridor into her professors rooms. She had thought that Dumbledore's assurance that her feelings would never be reciprocated would have given her some kind of closure to make her situation easier but it hadn't made any difference. If anything it was getting harder and harder to forget how she felt. She wished she could talk to Alex but it was almost curfew and she wasn't sure where the Ravenclaw common room was, even then it was unlikely anybody would let her in. On top of that it had been pretty clear Alex wasn't in the same predicament any more. Not only had it been pretty obvious what Dumbledore had told her she was looking infinitely happier and healthier. She was eating well at dinner, Mirrim still struggled and she almost had a constant smile on her face. Mirrim assumed that whatever she and Severus had going, which they were concealing surprisingly well, it was going well. It simply wasn't fair, she needed some kind of solution. Determined she entered the common room and looked around, she saw Hermione in the corner reading, as per usual. She swallowed hard, she needed to word this correctly or she could open one enormous can of worms. Steeling herself she started her way towards the bushy haired witch, she needed help and she needed Hermione.

A/N Yes. I know short again I'm so sorry. I just don't want to seem like I don't know where to stop. Working on the next one already. TTFN

Eriks Rose


	9. Seeking Advice

"You better have a good reason for calling me, Remus." Snape growled as he stepped out of the fireplace, brushing ash from his robes.

"I'm sure you can tear yourself away from your girlfriend's side for five minutes to help me, Severus."

"Tell that to her."

"If I have to I will, would you like some tea?"

"If you've asked me to come here just to drink tea.."

"Don't be ridiculous Severus. I Do have a legitimate problem, forgive me for being polite."

"Sorry. Yes I would like a cup of tea." Remus handed a cup to Severus who sat in a chair waiting for Remus to sit across from him. Remus swallowed hard as he sat down, his eyes on the floor.

"What's the matter Remus? Do you need more potion because the next batch is nearly ready if you've spilt some."

"No Severus it's nothing like that, it's about Mirrim."

"Oh? Have you told her?"

"Told her what?"

"How you feel. I doubt you'd tell her about...your condition."

"No I haven't told her anything it's just...Well you know how you coped with your feelings for Alex?"

"I am familiar with it."

"You don't have to be so acrimonious."

"You don't have to be so sardonic."

"I was not being sardonic."

"Using words like acrimonious is being sardonic."

"It is not."

"Stop using my use of language to evade the issue Remus, Alex is already annoyed at being abandoned."

"You've been gone two minutes."

"She's sixteen you imbecile."

"Fine, I'll get to the point. It's..it's getting harder, I do not mean that as a double entendre!" He snapped as Snape began to laugh. "What do I do Severus? It's all I can do not to stutter when I talk to her." Severus took a gulp of tea and leaned back in his chair, thinking.

"In all honesty Remus, apart from suggesting that you do what I did I'm afraid I don't have any advice. Have you thought about talking to Albus about it?"

"I've already spoken to Albus and I'm afraid I don't care to take his advice on the matter."

"Why ever not? What did he suggest?"

"That I tell her how I feel."

"Seriously?"

"No I just thought I'd try and be humorous as I'm so inclined to be at the moment."

"Now you being acrimonious." Snape rolled his eyes. "Seriously though Remus, he actually said that?"

"Almost his exact words." Snape looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Did he say anything else?" Remus shrugged.

"Something about it being better to know. It just doesn't make sense to do that, I don't want to lose her friendship because I've got insane, inappropriate feelings towards her."

"I'm not sure what more advice I can offer Remus. Do what I did. Talk to McGonagall and do something nice for her. Like me you have a reason to be interested in her and Minerva knows that Mirrim wants to be an animagus, you'll find a way to have a beneficial conversation about her."

"Yes you're right, thank you, Severus."

"Not at all, Remus. Thank you for the tea but I'm afraid I must get back before Alex thinks up heinous revenge to have on me for leaving her alone for so long." Remus nodded and stepped into the fireplace. He stepped out to find Alex reading, she looked up when he entered and raised her eyebrows.

"Can you keep a secret, Alex?"

"Sometimes, why?"

"What do you know about Mirrim Hallows?"

"Hermione, may I talk to you for a minute?" Hermione looked up from her book and blinked in surprise. She knew who Mirrim was but had never spoken to her before.

"Of course Mirrim, is something wrong?"

"Well..." Mirrim bit her lip, unsure of what exactly to say, she had to do this carefully.

"Do you want to talk somewhere else? Somewhere privately?"

"Oh, yes." Mirrim smiled slightly, Hermione was definitely the right person to talk to. They left the common room and entered an empty classroom. Hermione immediately took out her wand and placed wards and silencing charms on the room before turning to Mirrim.

"So what's the matter? Is it academic only it doesn't seem to be."

"No it's not academic it's more...personal."

"If you don't mind me asking Mirrim, why are you talking to me about it? It's not that I don't want to help it's just that it would seem more conventional to talk to a friend about it."

"Well...I thought about that but the only friend I can really talk to has a lot on her plate right now and I thought it might be better talking to someone who's not so...intimately connected with me." Mirrim wondered if that sounded anywhere near as unconvincing as it sounded in her head. Hermione however, seemed to accept it, or maybe she just thought she should help, she was a prefect after all.

"Alright Mirrim so what's troubling you?" Mirrim swallowed hard, wondering if perhaps this had been a bad idea.

"Well...I have a personal problem to do with, I suppose you'd say of a romantic nature." Hermione nodded encouragingly. "I..I have feelings for someone and...well it's totally hopeless because they'd never feel about me that way and it's becoming, hard to deal with." Hermione frowned.

"Have you tried talking to then about it? They may feel the same about you without you realising it."

"Oh no they definitely don't, and we're friends so I don't want to ruin what we already have."

"Is it a girl?"

"Oh no nothing like that it's just an awkward situation because we're friends." Hermione got the feeling that there was something about the situation that Mirrim wasn't telling her. She decided to try to subtly push for more info.

"So this guy, is he single?"

"Yeah, as far as I know."

"Okay, so does he have a lot of female attention?"

"Not that I've noticed."

"Has he had many passed relationships?"

"I don't really know. If he has he's never mentioned them."

"So maybe the reason you think he'll never feel that way about you is because he finds it difficult to show his feelings or because he's scared of rejection. If he hasn't got a lot of experience or success with girls then maybe the reason he gives the impression of not liking you back is because he's afraid, as you are, that you won't feel the same and that it will damage your friendship."

"No No. It's more complicated than that. I know he doesn't feel for me because he's a ..." She stopped, she couldn't tell Hermione that, it hard been hard to let Alex know.

"Because he's what Mirrim?" Mirrim shook her head and looked away. "What Mirrim? Is this an inter-house thing? A loyalty thing? An age thing? You said yourself he's single? Is he into someone else? What? I can't help you if you don't tell me!"

"No, I can't tell you I can't tell anyone!"

"Mirrim it's okay. I promise not to tell anyone, everything you tell me I'll keep in confidence."

"You won't tell _anyone."_

"No-one."

"Not harry, or Ron or Ginny."

"No."

"Not even your diary."

"I promise you Mirrim it will not leave this room. Who is it?£

"Professor Lupin."

**A/N I know They're still short I'm sorry. Will try to make the next chapter longer. What's Alex going to tell Snape? How's Hermione going to react to Mirrim's confession? Please R/R **

**ER**


	10. Finding Out More

Hermione blinked. Whatever she'd been expecting it definitely hadn't been that. Being in love was one thing, being in love with a professor was quite another. She wondered what advice she could give. She decided the best thing to do was be honest.

"I'm not sure what to tell you, Mirrim. I know that the laws are different in the wizarding world, there's a rumour circulating that Alex Roberts and Professor Snape are involved and that Dumbledore's okay with it but I don't think it's the same. Are you one hundred percent sure that Professor Lupin doesn't feel like that about you?"

"I've told you, Hermione. We're close yes but he's not there, how could he be?"

"It's not so ridiculous Mirrim. Who's to say the rumours about Snape and Alex aren't true? If Snape can fall in love with a student then how come Lupin can't, lord knows he deserves it."

"I just don't want to lose what we have."

"I'm afraid there's only two things I can advise you to do Mirrim. Either take the risk and tell him how you feel, or try to get over him pro actively."

"What do you mean?"

"If you can't get him, get someone else. Date, talk to more guys. You may find that all you've got is a schoolgirl crush and the sooner you move on the better. We all get crushes, older men can be alluring. I've had a schoolgirl crush and it wasn't until a boy at home came on to me I realised that was all it was."

"Okay. Thanks Hermione."

"No problem."

"Why do you want to know, Sev?"

"I'm curious Alex."

"Are you trying to make me jealous or something? If you are curious why don't you ask McGonagall about her?"

"Am I that useless a liar?"

"Yes you are, now what did Lupin say?"

"You are too intelligent for your own good you know, Alex."

"Yes I know, now tell me what you two old ladies were gossiping about." Severus sat down and let out a sigh.

"You know I can't tell you everything, Alex but Miss Hallows came up in the conversation and I know that you're friends. Now she's a Gryffindor and you're a Ravenclaw so how did you become friends?"

"You're a Slytherin and I'm your girlfriend you figure it out."

"That's a little different my dear. An inter-house friendship and a relationship with a Professor hardly fall into the same category."

"We share or shared I suppose a similar dilemma. It's good to have someone to talk to when you have a problem."

"So you don't share this problem any more then?"

"No we don't."

"Are you still friends?"

"Hard to say" Alex shrugged. "I haven't really seen her much." She grinned at him. "I've been distracted a bit." Severus rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Seriously Sev, give me some indication of why you want to know, or at least what exactly." Severus rubbed his eyes and tried to think of how to phrase it.

"Can you tell me what the dilemma you shared was?"

"No."

"But you said you no longer share it."

"So? I promised not to tell anyone."

"_I _promised not to tell Lupin what we talked about."

"Then it appears we're stuck Sev." Alex returned to her book.

"One thing Alex." Alex sighed and looked up.

"What?"

"What's her favourite food?" Alex frowned at him.

"Are you trying to get her? You looking for a bit on the side?" Alex grinned.

"Alex."

"Fine,fine. I think it's banoffee pie...or cheesecake I'm not sure. One or the other."

"Thank you."

"No worries." There was a pause. "Will you get me some cheesecake?"

Lupin waited somewhat impatiently for McGonagall to finish her marking. He was sitting across from her and it felt like he'd been there for hours, where in reality he knew it was more like five minutes. He didn't know why he was so nervous, it wasn't like he was going to share his feelings with her, he was going to just ask some discreet questions. That was the plan at least. McGonagall finished the parchment in front of her and pushed it to one side.

"Well Remus, what did you want to talk to me about?" Remus took a breath, trying to calm himself.

"Actually Minerva I wanted to talk to you about Miss Hallows."

"Ah yes, your star pupil. How is she getting along with her studies?"

"Oh she's exceptional, he health is improving as well."

"Yes, she has been looking better, not as good as Miss Roberts but she's certainly better than she was."

"Yes. Well do you know much about her?"

"No more than any of the other students in my house. Why do you ask?"

"Like you said, Minerva, she's my star student. Also she still looks a little down and I know she wants to become an animagus so I assumed you'd be interested. I know she excels in transfiguration."

"That is true Remus. I know her mother is a single parent, I do not know anything about her father but I believe Dumbledore knows who he is. Some stuck up pure or half blood would be my guess. I know she likes cats, she has a few at home but they are muggle cats, no special abilities but she misses them. I'm afraid that's about it. She keeps herself to herself for the most part, not unlike Miss Roberts. I understand they are friends of a kind. Have you an idea what kind of animal she wishes to transform into?"

"A tiger." Remus smiled. Minerva raised her eyebrows.

"Well she doesn't do things by half I'll give her that."

"Thank you Minerva."

"You're welcome Remus, there's one thing I'd like to know before you go though."

"Yes."

"Why the sudden interest?"

Mirrim glanced around the great hall. She could see Alex at the Ravenclaw table, every know and then her eyes strayed to the staff table and would quickly look away again if her eyes met Snape's. She saw McGonagall deep in conversation with Dumbledore, Lupin was no where to be seen. Mirrim tried to ignore the disappointment she felt at his absence. She looked around the Gryffindor table. If she was going to find a boyfriend it made good sense to at least try out her own house mates. Harry Potter was out of the question, she had a sneaking suspicion he had his eye on Ginny anyway. Seamus Finnegan freaked her out slightly and Dean Thomas was half way out of the closet. Neville Longbottom was in the process of getting over a crush on Hermione and Mirrim didn't think she could cope going out with someone as clueless as he was. She was at a bit of a loss. Maybe if she became more sociable she would be saved the trouble of asking a boy out by being asked herself. She glanced towards Hermione and her eyes met those of a sixth year sitting across from Hermione. He smiled at her and she smiled back. He mouthed 'Hi' and she mimicked him. Then they both returned to their meals. When Mirrim had finished she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see the boy behind her.

"Hi." He smiled. "I'm Nick."

"Hi, Mirrim."

"Nice to meet you Mirrim. Would you like to take a walk with me?" Mirrim glanced up at the staff table. Lupin had not appeared all evening. She saw Hermione standing a few feet away desperately miming 'Yes'.

"Yeah okay." She left the hall at Jake's side, Hermione was smiling. Mirrim didn't see Alex or Snape's eyes following her, both were frowning slightly. Alex's eyes found Snape's and a look of understanding past between them. Simultaneously they rose and left the Great Hall. When they reached Snape's classroom he turned to her.

"What's going on?"

"That dilemma, Sev? I need to tell you."


	11. Trying to Move On

"You're joking!"

"No Sev, I'm serious."

"Mirrim likes him too?"

"Yes! That was what we shared, both in love with a teacher and absolutely convinced that nothing was going to happen. That's why we both looked ill at the same time, we were both lovesick."

"I never thought I'd see the day when you you use a word like 'lovesick', Alex."

"Be serious Severus please. We need to stop Mirrim from going out with Jake."

"Why? We can't tell Lupin how she feels and we can't tell her how he feels."

"Well we have to do something."

"Why? This has nothing to do with us. If Mirrim's trying to move on why should we try to stop her?"

"She's only doing it because she thinks that Lupin doesn't love her. But he does, she has to know!"

"Alex, there's nothing we can do without breaking our word, you have to let it go."

"Fine! Don't help out, just get used to sleeping alone!" Alex was about to leave when Snape sighed.

"I'll talk to Dumbledore, OK?"

"OK." Alex smiled.

MMM

"So where you from?"

"Derby."

"Half, pure or muggleborn?"

"I'm half and half. You?"

"Muggleborn. My little sister's showing signs though." Jake smiled at Mirrim who smiled back.

"So where are you from?"

"Cardiff. Yeah I know I don't have the accent." He added at Mirrim's frown. "I spent the first nine years of my life in Coventry and just never picked up the Welsh accent, I never learnt the language either." They walked in silence for a while until they reached the lake. They watched the giant squid sunning it's tentacles.

"So, what's your favourite subject?" Mirrim realised too late she was clutching at straws to try and keep conversation going. Luckily, Jake didn't seem to realise.

"I quite like Transfiguration. I think I'd enjoy Potions more if Professor Snape weren't so damn scary." Mirrim giggled.

"I know what you mean." She did wonder what attracted Alex so, she'd never really thought to ask. Maybe it was just one of those things. She wasn't entirely sure why she was so attracted to Lupin. She mentally kicked herself, she was meant to be getting over him not analysing her feelings for him. Jake was pleasant enough but she couldn't shake the feeling there was something slightly off about him. Maybe she was belatedly discovering that she had a thing for older men and Jake wasn't quite old enough. Mirrim shivered slightly as a breeze blew over the lake.

"It's getting chilly." Jake said airily. _Top marks for stating the obvious. _Mirrim thought. "We'd best go back anyway, it's not long until curfew." He added. He and Mirrim walked back up to the castle in silence. Mirrim was bored, maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to say yes to the first guy who asked her out. Even though he hadn't actually really asked her out. Or maybe she was just kidding herself. Was Jake not everything she wanted because she didn't want to move on so was looking for faults? Or was he flawed because he couldn't measure up to Lupin. She looked up at the castle and her eyes met Lupin's. She immediately felt guilty, like she was betraying him, even thought they were only friends. For a second, she thought she saw something like hurt flash in his eyes, before he gave her a brief smile and left the window.

"Mirrim? You okay?" She realised she'd stopped walking and Jake was a few steps in front of her.

"Yeah. Sorry just...thought I saw something." She dropped her gaze and continued up to the steps, her thoughts in confusion. Surely it hadn't been hurt. Maybe it was surprise, obviously she'd not had a boyfriend before. Yeah, it had to be something like that, yet she still felt guilty.

"So, um...Mirrim."

"Yes?"

"I was wondering..."

_Oh god, please don't ask me out!_

"I was wondering if you wanted to...go out together."

_Oh shit!_

"I'm sorry Jake. You seem really nice I just don't really see you that way."

"Oh. OK. So...see you." Jake walked away, looking hurt. Strangely, Mirrim didn't feel guilty. She knew she should, she had kind of led him on, and it was definitely hurt she saw in his eyes. What on earth was wrong with her? She wasn't even with Lupin and she felt guilty walking around with someone and then a perfectly nice guy asked her out and she shot him down without being the slightest bit bothered. This thing for Lupin had to be more than a crush, Hermione had been wrong, getting over him was not an easy option, she wasn't sure that it was even an option. He only had to see her with another guy and she felt like she'd been caught cheating on him. It was getting impossible. Talking to Hermione hadn't helped, talking to Dumbledore had made her feel worse and it wasn't exactly talk to Lupin about it. There was only one option left. She just prayed she'd get to talk to Alex before Snape killed her for disturbing them.

MMM

"To what do I owe the pleasure Severus? Would you like a strawberry bonbon?"

"No thank you headmaster."

"Well then Severus, what's the problem?"

"Well...it's not exactly a problem. At least, I don't think so. Alex on the other hand seems to think it's a big problem. It's to do with Miss Hallows."

"Ah yes, how is she?""

"Well, she seems fine enough, but after dinner she went for a walk with young Mr Spinner and it seemed to touch a nerve with Alex. Then she told me about the fact that Miss Hallows returns Lupin's affection for her and, as each of us has been sworn to secrecy by one of each party we can't really intervene. Alex doesn't think Mirrim should be attempting to move on with a boy closer to her age when there is a chance for her and Lupin to have a relationship." Dumbledore had sat up straighter at the mention of Jake and was now regarding Severus over steepled fingers.

"What are your thoughts Severus?"

"Honestly headmaster I'm not really of an opinion."

"I find that hard to believe my boy. After all, how would you feel if Alex had tried to move on and forget you?" Severus was silent, but the tensing of his jaw answered Dumbledore's question for him.

"I realise you and Remus have a different way of doing things and are different men Severus, but you're both human and your both in love with your students. As Mirrim is not yet sixteen I can't been seen to condone any kind of relationship between them as I could with you and Miss Roberts, on the other hand I cannot allow them both to be hurt needlessly."

"What do you suggest then headmaster. Neither Alex or I relish the thought of breaking our word."

"No Severus, I would not ask it of either of you, also that would be too blunt a way of resolving a delicate situation. If we are to do this, it must be subtle and suitably discreet." Severus nodded and Dumbledore thought for a moment. "How well would you say Remus can do occulmency Severus?"

"He is reasonably good Albus, after all he is a spy for you in the company of Voldemort's werewolf followers. Why do you ask? I doubt he reads Miss Hallow's mind."

"I know that Severus, really. But it may not be a bad idea to convince him to give her lessons."

"You think so headmaster?"

"Why not? I am sure he would jump at the chance to have an excuse to spend more time with his young protege. You should tell him I'd like him to teach her Severus, with a little luck it will work."

"And if he asks me why, Albus?"

"Because I've told him to."

**A/N I realise in the last chapter I mistakenly referred to Jake as Nick. That was just me being insane so please ignore that slip up, I don't have a beta atm.**

**Kindest Regards**

**ER**


	12. Dumbledore's Solution

Mirrim braced herself before knocking on the classroom door. After a minute it opened, she was surprised to see Alex.

"Oh Mirrim, thank god it's you. I'd already started opening the door before realising I didn't have an excuse for why I'm here come in." She stepped aside and let Mirrim in. She closed the door and turned. "By the way if you're looking for Severus he's not here." Trying not to smile at Alex's use of Snape's first name she shook her head.

"No actually Alex, I came to see you."

"Yeah I'm fabulous. Come into the living room it's actually warm in there, there's a fire."

"Thanks." Mirrim looked around Snape's living room as Alex led her inside. It wasn't exactly what she'd expected. For one thing there was a reasonable amount of colour and it looked like Snape enjoyed a lot of books. To her shock she saw quite a lot of Manga, then assumed it must be Alex's.

"So what's up?" Mirrim asked, flopping down on the sofa and gesturing for Mirrim to join her. Mirrim sat down and frowned before speaking.

"It's about Professor Lupin."

"OK."

"Well, I talked to Hermione about it and she said I should get a boyfriend and get over it. I tried it and just felt so guilty and he was a perfectly nice guy. I just don't know what's wrong with me."

"What's wrong with you is that you're trying to get over someone your completely in love with with out getting any closure. And you picked someone who's completely different from Lupin so you kept comparing them."

"How do you know who it was?"

"We eat in the same room Mirrim I'm not blind. I don't get it though. If it was still bothering you why did you talk to Hermione? You could have talked to me."

"I didn't want to Alex. You had just gotten together with Snape. We didn't have the same problem anymore. I didn't want to depress you or anything."

"Don't be so stupid Mirrim, I am your friend you know." Mirrim smiled.

"Yeah. Sorry Alex that was pretty stupid."

"Your face is stupid."

"Yeeeah."

"Good evening Miss Hallows." Both girls looked up to see Snape standing in the doorway.

"Good evening Professor." There was an awkward silence. "Soooo, I better go. Thanks Alex, I'll see you later."

"K bye." Mirrim left quickly. Snape turned to Alex and raised an eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that Severus. How'd it go with Dumbledore?"

"He has a plan."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'll just floo Lupin to let him know then I'll explain it, OK?"

"OK." Alex picked up a book and started to read. Snape dropped some powder into the fire. The flames went green and Snape stuck his head in.

"Remus Lupin's rooms."

"Good evening Severus."

"Good evening Remus, may I come in."

"Of course." Snape stepped through the fire and brushed his robes down. "Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you. I have a message from Dumbledore."

"Oh yes?"

"He wants you to teach Miss Hallows occulmency." Remus dropped his cup.

"You're joking."

"I'm not, he wants you to teach her."

"But why? I don't want to invade her thoughts."

"Whether you want to or not Remus is irrelevant. Dumbledore wants you to teach her."

"Why?"

"Well it's a good skill to have, especially these days with Voldemort growing stronger, we can't have him invading students minds and messing with them."

"I can understand his reasoning for the teaching Severus, but why me?"

"I expect it's because you're friends Remus. She will trust you and you will stop yourself before seeing anything too personal."

"I suppose. All right then, does she know yet?"

"No, Dumbledore's going to tell her tomorrow."

"OK. Thank you Severus."

"Goodnight Lupin."

"Goodnight." Snape disappeared back into the fireplace. Lupin sat down heavily and put his head in his hands. "Dammit Albus, what are you up to."

**A/N Sorry it's another short I just wanted to end it there.**


	13. Arguments and Secrets

"I'm going to kill Dumbledore!"

"Is that our standard greeting now Mirrim because I like it." Alex grinned.

"If he keeps this up it will be."

"Excellent! Now tell me what he's done." Alex had met up with Mirrim to go down to breakfast together. She had a fairly good idea why Mirrim was threatening to kill Dumbledore but she couldn't very well say it.

"He sent me an owl early this morning saying he wants me to take occulmency lessons with Lupin as my teacher! Why is he doing this when he knows about everything. Why?"

"Maybe he thinks this will help you get over it."

"But what if Lupin sees my thoughts about him. What will I do then?" Learn to block him." They entered the Great Hall at that point. Mirrim saw Jake sitting at the Gryffindor table and tensed. Alex grabbed her arm.

"come on, you can sit with me at the Ravenclaw table." She pulled Mirrim over. "Budge up Padma." Alex sat next to Padma Patil and Mirrim sat next to her. Alex glanced at Snape before smiling and helping herself to some bacon. Mirrim glanced at Remus who was talking to Snape, it looked like they were having a quiet but very heated argument. Mirrim grimaced at the amount of bacon before helping herself to a couple of fried eggs.

"I never understand yo vegetarians." Alex said through a mouthful of bacon.

"And I never understand you carnivores." Mirrim smiled as she added some toast to her plate.

"See Hallows, that's why you're not in Ravenclaw, I'm an omnivore." Alex said in a superior tone as she added poached egg to her own plate. "What do you reckon our guys are arguing about?" She added in a whisper, glancing again at the staff table. Mirrim shrugged.

"Could be anything I guess. He's not my guy." Alex shrugged.

"Maybe he would be if you asked."

"No he wouldn't. Dumbledore said he didn't." Alex frowned at that, but Mirrim was busy pouring herself some pumpkin juice. Suddenly a crash came from the staff table and everyone turned to look. Lupin had overturned his plate, he and Snape were both on their feet shouting at each other, they were so loud and shouting over each other that no one had a clue what they were fighting about but Dumbledore drowned them both out.

"GENTLEMEN!" They both fell silent. "My office, now!" The entire great hall was silent until the three men left then in erupted. Alex and Mirrim stared at each other. What on earth was going on?

"What _is _going on? Really Severus? Remus? What was the argument about?"

"He was making fun of my relationship with Alex!"

"He was insulting Mirrim!"

"He said I was perverse!"

"He said Mirrim was idiotic and dense!"

"You two are impossible! Severus he's saying these things because he's jealous that you're with your girl and Remus, he's saying that so you'll admit how much you love Miss Hallows." Severus turned to Remus.

"I'm sorry Remus."

"I'm sorry too Severus." Remus held out his hand and Severus shook it.

"Now will you two please get a grip of yourselves. Miss Roberts is going to give you an earful Severus. Remus, just get over yourself and teach the girl. If you're not going to tell her how you feel you can at least be professional." Remus sighed

"Why Albus? Why do you want me to teach her occulmency?"

"Remus, you were close friends and that's become damaged. I believe this will help you both as well as teaching Miss Hallows a skill that these days is worth having. Would you rather have someone who doesn't really care what they see teaching her?" Remus sighed and shook his head. "Good. Now you need to go and if anyone mentions this morning I give you leave to give them detention." They left Dumbledore's office feeling foolish.

"Alex is going to kill me."

"At least she won't lose respect for you like Mirrim probably will with me."

"All right Remus I've had enough of this." They stopped and Severus turned to Remus. "If you love her as much as you say you do, I suggest you tell her before you have a stroke. If she is as special as you say, she won't lose respect because you lost your temper for once. You really need to find some way to handle this." Severus walked over leaving behind a conflicted Remus. He knew he needed to get a grip on himself, a handle on the situation, but he was so unsure of how to. If he kept his feelings for himself for much longer there was a chance he could be putting a strain on his condition, which was incredibly dangerous. However if he told Mirrim, he risked losing one of the people he cared about the most. Also there was little point. Mirrim had a boyfriend now, Jake Spinner if he recalled correctly. He was in one hell of a sticky spot, and it was stuck firmly between a rock and a hard place. _If I just get through this one occulmency lesson. _He thought to himself._ Maybe I'll be able to think more clearly._

Alex spent the whole day desperate to ask Severus what he and Remus had been arguing about. Mirrim spent the whole day panicking about her upcoming occulmency lesson. She was trying to keep simple things like potions ingredients and first year incantations at the front of her mind but all her thoughts of Lupin kept pushing forcibly to the forefront of her mind whenever she tried to quash them. She had to find a way to make other thoughts dominant or Lupin would instantly know how she felt about him. As she thought that a rather inappropriate daydream reared it's head. She had to focus on something else she had to. Maybe if she didn't try to quash any thoughts they'd drift to something else by themselves and she'd be able to focus on that in her lesson. This seemed to work and she thought about Pride and Prejudice up until it became time for her lesson with Lupin. Then all her thoughts about him came back with full force. She felt like breaking something very big and expensive, like Dumbledore. She reluctantly made her way to Lupin's office, trying to think of her homework, then, books, then films, then how much she missed her cat. Even then thoughts of Lupin still managed to break through. It ended taking her twice as long as it should have done for her to reach Lupin's office. She braced herself, trying to recite her twelve times tables in her head . And knocked on the door.

"Come in." At Lupin's voice the twelve times tables disappeared to the back of her mind and the thought of Lupin's smile took priority. She mentally kicked herself and opened the door. Lupin was standing by the fireplace, with a smile that looked a little force. Mirrim guessed that because they were friends, or at least had been, he was a little uncomfortable with the arrangement as well.

"Hello Professor."

"Good evening, Mirrim. Would you like a cup of tea?" Mirrim nodded silently and sat in the chair Lupin indicated. Lupin made the tea exactly as Mirrim liked it, five sugars. They sat in silence while they drank their tea, both reluctant to start. In the end they made it through three cups of tea before they both decided they were being ridiculous.

"Now Mirrim, before we start there are some things I want to make clear." Mirrim nodded. "First I'll try not to go too far or see anything personal, but part of what I see is down to you. Therefore I suggest you think of everyday things, maybe think back over your day, at least to start with. You just need to try and block me, anyway that might work for you. Alright?" Mirrim nodded not trusting herself to speak. Unfortunately, thinking back over her day would include the rather substantial parts when she was trying to practise not thinking of him, and failing rather spectacularly.

"Are you ready Mirrim."

_No_

"Yes sir."

"Legilimens." Mirrim hadn't prepared herself, she tried to think of her cat. For a moment it worked , then the thoughts of her day began to whirl in her mind. She saw herself meeting Alex and saying how she hated what Dumbledore was doing. _Oh gods! _She saw Snape and Lupin having an argument, saw herself and Alex raising their eyebrows at each other, saw herself thinking about Remus..._NO! _Suddenly it stopped, and she was back, in Remus' office, he was looking at her curiously.

"Are you alright Mirrim?" She swallowed hard and breathed evenly for a few seconds.

"Yes I'm okay."

"You pushed back quite hard then, I assume your thoughts were about to change. What were you thinking of me for?"

_Oh no what do I say?_

"Well I was thinking of the lesson today sir, I was nervous."

"Oh I see. Well, you didn't manage to block me but I felt you try to, that's why I stopped it was obviously important you didn't want time to see something. If I may ask, was it to do with Jake?"

"Jake who?"

"Jake Spinner." Mirrim frowned, trying to think who he was talking about. "Your boyfriend."

"My what? I don't have a boyfriend! I never...oh." Mirrim suddenly remembered, she also remembered that Lupin had seen them. "Oh I'd forgotten about him. He's not my boyfriend." Lupin looked surprise and there was something else in his face, it looked vaguely like, relief.

"Oh I'm sorry, just a friend then."

"Not even that really, he asked me out but I wasn't interested."

"Oh I see, well you are a little out of his league." Mirrim scoffed

"Yeah right, I'm a real catch, what have you been smoking?" Lupin frowned.

"You don't believe me?"

"Well come on sir, look at me! I've got a frizzy ginger mane that refuses to do as it's told, I wear glasses, I'm freckly and I'm not exactly an Olympic athlete. I'm nothing special." Lupin frowned again and pulled Mirrim over to a cupboard with a mirror on it.

"Look Mirrim, what do you see?"

"Us."

"Pretend you see two strangers, describe us." Mirrim frowned.

"Why?"

"Indulge me." Mirrim sighed then shrugged.

"Well, your tall, slim but muscular, you have a five o' clock shadow, your half soft blond hair with...a little grey in it. You have pale blue eyes. I'm chubby, have frizzy hair and I'm short."

"I see a pretty young girl and an ugly old man."

"Maybe you're the one who needs glasses sir. You're not ugly if nothing else." Lupin smiled.

"I'm no spring chicken. You think too little of yourself Mirrim, and if one boy finds you attractive who's to say others don't" He stepped away from the mirror to make more tea. Mirrim turned around in the mirror and appraised herself before turning back and examining her eyes. Apart from their need for glasses they weren't bad. She'd always liked her hazel eyes. "Yes you have lovely eyes." She turned yo Lupin who was smiling at her.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"No but you were looking closely at them in the mirror and smiling slightly. You do have lovely eyes." Mirrim shrugged and took the tea he was holding out to her.

"Thank you."

"For the agreement or the tea?"

"Both." She smiled at him, he smiled back. They were back to how they'd used to be, before the argument, before the animosity and it was pleasant. They both looked at each other for a while, until they realised what they were doing and quickly looked away simultaneously. Lupin drained his cup and turned.

"Ready to start again?" Mirrim shrugged. "When you pushed back before, try doing that straight away, and we'll see if you can keep me at bay." Mirrim nooded and tried to focus on how much she didn't want him to see her thoughts.

"Legilimens." Mirrim fought as hard as she could to block him, she kept him just out of her thoughts of him then they suddenly broke through, all of them, suddenly swirling in her mind. She fought with all she had and suddenly she could see his thoughts, thoughts of her, her smile, her eyes, him thinking of her at night. She saw him worried that day Dumbledore had told her that Lupin would never love her and she'd gone to the lake, saw his pain when he believed she was with Jake, saw his argument with Snape. Then he pushed her back and they were there in his office, staring at each other with complete shock. Mirrim's head cleared and she realised what he'd seen. _Oh god!_ She ran.


	14. Do You Love Me?

Alex and Severus had been arguing for almost an hour when there was a knock on the door. They fell silent and stared at each other. Then Alex ran to the bedroom and Severus glanced over the room to make sure there was no evidence of her before he schooled his features and opened the door. He was shocked to see Mirrim looking rather the worse for wear.

"Miss Hallows? Do you wish to see Alex?" Mirrim swallowed hard and nodded. Snape rapped on his bedroom door. "Alex it's for you." Alex opened the door frowning.

"How can it be for me?" Then she saw Mirrim. "Oh hi." She smiled, then stopped when she saw Mirrim's face, She looked at Snape who excused himself and went into the classroom, closing the door behind him. She pulled Mirrim to the sofa.

"What's the matter, what happened?" Mirrim took a minute to speak.

"He saw Alex, he saw the way I thought about him I tried to block him out but he broke through and he saw!"

"Well what did he say?"

"Nothing, I ran for it!"

"What?"

"I ran for it!"

"What on earth did you do that for?"

"He was staring at me in horror and I couldn't wait for him to reject me and tell me how disgusted he was. That would have been horrible."

"But you don't know he would have done that Mirrim. What if you misread shock as horror? What if he wasn't going to reject you?"

"But Dumbledore said he didn't love me."

"How would Dumbledore know? And what if he didn't love you then but he does now?"

"He doesn't!"

"You don't know that!"

"Yes I do! I'm not like you Alex! You have the love of your life, don't make me think I can have mine it's just cruel!" Mirrim ran out of the room leaving a bewildered Alex behind her. A confused Severus walked in frowning.

"What on earth's going on?"

"She said Lupin saw her thoughts about him."

"And?"

"She ran for it."

"Yes, I saw that."

"No, she ran for it after Lupin saw her thoughts."

"Why?"

"She didn't want him to reject her."

"But he wouldn't."

"I know, I tried to get her to think that he might not have but she didn't believe me."

"I'll talk to Remus, see what he has to say."

Remus was pacing his office when Severus went to see him.

"Hello Remus."

"Hello Severus"

"What happened?" Remus stopped pacing.

"Am I that transparent?"

"While pacing your office doesn't leave an awful lot to the imagination it does help when a young girl you've just had a lesson with comes to see your girlfriend not looking quite herself then runs out of the room in tears."

"She was in tears?"

"I've been reducing students to tears for years Remus, I think I can safely say I'm an expert in being able to tell when someone leaves a room rapidly whilst crying."

"Why was she crying?"

"I hate to break it to you Remus but I'm not in the habit of listening in on Alex's private conversations. However I assume something happened so what was it?"Remus sat down heavily in his chair.

"She fought back and saw my thoughts." Severus frowned.

"What thoughts?"

"The thoughts I have about her, the inappropriate ones."

"what was she fighting against, what did you see?"

"That she cares for me."

"But you knew that."

"No not as a friend, she doesn't see me like that she sees me in a similar way as to how I see her."

"What on earth did you say? Surely it's a good thing that you both feel the same way about each other."

"She ran before I could say anything. Obviously it was some kind of fantasy or crush and now she knows I feel for her I've frightened her."

"Remus you have to talk to her. Maybe she was so shocked by what you saw she didn't register that your thoughts were not hers. Maybe she's afraid of your rejection." Severus was glad he knew what he was saying was true. Miss Hallows and Lupin making eyes at each other and not making a move was starting to irritate him. Both he, Alex and Dumbledore had assumed the occulmency lessons would end it all.

"You're right Severus. Even if my suspicions are correct she and I need to talk about this. I'll give her a little time to process it all then I'll talk to her."

"You do that Remus. If you need to talk to Dumbledore, he'll probably be glad she knows and be able to help. I'll see you later. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Severus." Remus went to bed, resolved to talk to Mirrim as soon as possible. At the same time, Mirrim lay in bed, resolving to avoid Remus at all costs, the lesson had not gone well.

For the next few days, Mirrim avoided Remus like the plague, it was impressive. She saw him she quickly went in the other direction. She was never present at mealtimes and spent most of her time in the Gryffindor common room or in the dorm. It was a week before Remus managed to catch her. He'd been walking down the corridor when she'd turn into it and run. He'd ran after her and in her haste she'd forgotten about the step on the staircase and got stuck.

"Dammit!" She hissed just before Remus came round the corner and found her. She didn't dare look him in the eye.

"Mirrim, I believe we need to talk."

"In the corridor?"

"If I pull you out will you come to my office?"

"Mirrim contemplated refusing and letting him talk to her here where anyone could come upon them or doing it alone. It didn't take long for her to decide. She nodded, still not looking at him. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her out. His strength and gentleness impressed her. Though it didn't shake the dread she felt and finally having to talk about what had happened between them. Damn Dumbledore and his stupid occulmency lesson. They walked in silence to Remus' office. True to gentlemanly form, he opened the door for Mirrim and made her tea before speaking.

"I wanted to talk about what happened in our occulmency lesson Mirrim." Mirrim swallowed and stared at the floor. He continued. "I realise I was not supposed to see what I did, you fought very hard to hide it. What I wan to know is, did you see my thoughts?" Mirrim swallowed, at least he hadn't mentioned what her thoughts were.

"I...I'm not sure."

"Well...I'm of the impression that you did. I just need to know one thing. Those thoughts you have of me, are they true?" Mirrim frowned, not sure entirely what he meant.

"What...what do you mean sir?" She asked softly. He sighed and knelt down in front of her.

"Do you love me Mirrim?" His question surprised them both. Remus hadn't meant to be so blunt, and Mirrim hadn't expected him to ask anything like that. There was silence between them for a few moments as they looked at each other.

"Do you?"

"I'm sorry?" Remus frowned.

"Do you love me?" Remus swallowed hard then looked into Mirrim's eyes.

"Yes." He whispered. She swallowed hard and glanced at the floor between looking back at Remus. A small smile appeared on her face.

"Yes." she said.

"Yes?"

"Yes, I love you." Remus smiled. "Sooo...what do we do now?" Remus shrugged.

"I suppose we should talk to Dumbledore." The went to Dumbledore's office and were surprised to find Alex and Severus there.

"You two finally got together?" Severus asked in a bored tone.

"Yes." Remus shrugged, smiling. Alex flopped back in her chair.

"Thank god for that. It's about bloody time! Can we go now Sev?" Severus rolled his eyes. Dumbledore smiled.

"Yes Miss Roberts you can go."

"Great." She looked pointedly at Mirrim "I wanna see you tomorrow, I want details." Then she grabbed Severus' arm and dragged him out of the room.

"Sit down Miss Hallow, Remus." Remus and Mirrim sat in the chairs Severus and Alex had vacated. "Is it true, have you two finally admitted your feelings to each other?"

"Yes sir." Mirrim said, frowning slightly at him.

"You did on purpose didn't you Albus." Remus said. "You made me give Mirrim occulmency lessons so I'd find out how she felt about me."

"Well, you two were taking so long going about it my boy, I felt you both needed a push in the right direction. Just keep it discreet, like Miss Roberts and Severus. It's not long till you're sixteen Mirrim I hope can trust you both not to do anything until then?" Mirrim looked annoyed but nodded.

"Of course Albus." Remus nodded, squeezing Mirrim's hand.

"Good. Now Miss Hallows, if you'd be so good as to return to you common room I have something I need to discuss with Remus." Mirrim shrugged and smiled at Remus before leaving. Dumbledore waited a minute and cast a silencing and locking charm on the door before turning to Remus. "Are you going to tell her?"

"I really don't know Albus, I don't want to scare her off."

"If you want to pursue this relationship Remus she deserves to know, also don't you think she'll question why you're ill and alone every month?"

"I'll put it off as long as I can. I know you're right Albus but, I want to see if this has a chance of working before I jeopardise it."

"It is you're decision Remus, just remember, it's better to be honest." Remus nodded and left. Five minutes later, Mirrim let an owl in that was tapping at the dorm window. It dropped a note from Dumbledore on her lap then flew off. She looked down at the note.

_Are you going to tell him?_

It was a simple enough question. She really didn't know. She knew that if the relationship was going to go anywhere she would have to tell him eventually. But she didn't want to tell him just yet. His rejection she could take, his hate she couldn't.


	15. Waiting

True to their word, apart from seeing each other in the evening and talking, Mirrim and Remus didn't do anything couples do. Mirrim was highly annoyed when she realised it also meant no kissing. The most she and Remus ever did was hug and it was frustrating to say the least. It wasn't like she wanted to suddenly jump into bed with him but a kiss here and there would have been nice. Dumbledore had made himself clear though, until Mirrim hit sixteen, it was to be as platonic a relationship as possible, even a kiss on the cheek was out of the question. Mirrim thought that was a bit extreme. Friends did that all the time. After two weeks, the inevitable happened. One of them was bound to snap at some point. Mirrim was walking alone up to Gryffindor common room when she was suddenly pulled into a deserted classroom. She caught her breath then realised she was in Remus' arms, he smiled at her.

"Hello." He whispered. Before she could reply his lips crashed down on hers, she heard a moan and couldn't tell whether it was from her or him. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened her mouth for him. His tongue explored her, worshipping her mouth. Her head was spinning and her knees felt weak. She knew she would have collapsed if he hadn't held her so tightly. She angled her head slightly and he kissed her harder, she kissed him back fiercely, a year of longing from them both finally having some kind of relief. Eventually, Remus pulled back, panting. A whimper of protest came from Mirrim.

"Forgive me Mirrim but if I don't stop now I never will and I'd rather not have Dumbledore kill me for molesting a fifteen-year-old." Mirrim grinned at him.

"Well if this is how you greet me now Remus I'm going to make a habit of bumping into you." Remus eyes widened and he smiled broadly. "What?"

"That's the first time you've called me Remus." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Get used to it." he smiled and pushed her slightly.

"You need to get back before you're missed. Bye."

"Bye." She smiled ad gave him a wave before practically skipping away. Remus leaned against the wall and groaned. That kiss had been incredibly arousing.

'What did I have to go and do that for?' He thought to himself. 'A month. A whole month before I can do it again.'

"Why, why can't I wait one month?"

"Because you're dying to shag him." Alex replied as she and Mirrim sat down beside the lake.

"But I'm not that's the point! I'm not dying to sleep with Remus I just feel so frustrated. A month isn't that long."

"Mirrim, do you remember how stressed we were when we didn't think our feelings were reciprocated? It's worse now because you know they are and yet you can't do anything about it. You've had sexual tension between the two of you for ages and now it's ten times worse because you both have the opportunity to do something about it yet you can't."

"It just seems to be going so slowly. Every morning I wake up and can't believe only one day has gone."

"It happens like that. It's like when exams are coming and you never want them to then before you know it they're upon you, then with the holidays you want them to come and they take forever. Because you know what you can do when the month's up you're absolutely desperate for it to come so it's maddeningly slow."

"I've never longed for my birthday so much. When did you get 'oh so wise'?"

"When I started dating a guy that thinks he's clever yet never realised I liked him. It makes the fact that he doesn't understand women all the more entertaining." They were silent for a few minutes.

"Have you slept with Severus?"

"Mirrim if you have to ask you really don't know me." Mirrim put her face in her hands and laughed.

"Oh my god."

"Well you asked!"

"But I did not need that image." Alex smiled and pushed her friend playfully.

"Like you'll care once you're getting some." Mirrim shrugged. "Let's talk about something else. Who d'you think's more gay; Harry or Draco?"

"For gargoyle's sake Remus, sit down or I'll hex you!" Remus had been pacing Snape's living room for five minutes.

"I'm sorry I'm just nervous."

"You have nearly a month before you need to be nervous."

"But I don't know what to do. What do you and Alex do?"

"Firstly, that is none of your damn business, secondly, I really don't think you want me to answer that and thirdly, Miss Hallows is not Alex. You know her better than I Remus you work out what to do."

"All I know is academic things, and the fact she likes cats."

"Then buy her a cat. And she likes chocolate."

"How do you know?"

"Apart from the fact I've yet to meet a woman who doesn't, I've walked in on her and Alex sharing a bar twice." Remus sighed and sat down.

"I'm new to this."

"Look, just take things as they come. No one knows what to do at the start of a relationships. You need to get to know each other as Remus and Mirrim rather than Professor Lupin and Miss Hallows. I know you're not exactly at that stage still but it is a new level."

"How do you know these things?"

"I have a seventeen year old girlfriend Remus, I learned."

"Albus, I wish to speak with you." Minerva McGonagall's head appeared in Dumbledore's fireplace.

"Come through Minerva, I'm not busy." She stepped through the fireplace and brushed down her robes before sitting opposite the headmaster. "Would you like a chocolate frog, Minerva?"

"No thank you. I want to talk about Miss Hallows."

"Indeed? Why?"

"I'm worried about her." Dumbledore frowned.

"But she is still improving surely."

"Yes but she keeps disappearing."

"Disappearing?"

"In the evenings. At first I thought that maybe she had a boyfriend she was meeting but there's absolutely no evidence of that and it's not as if she doesn't get back before curfew but I have no idea where she goes. It just seems odd when all her house mates are either in the library or their common rooms. She's definitely not wondering the grounds or Hagrid would have seen her and he says he hasn't seen anyone apart from Mr Potter, Miss Granger and Mr Weasley, whom he always sees anyway." Dumbledore steepled his fingers and thought for a moment. He knew that Mirrim spent her evenings with Remus but wasn't sure how Minerva would take it. "Albus, what aren't you telling me?"

"You remember I informed you of the Alex and Severus situation Minerva?"

"Oh Albus please don't tell me this is similar. Is there something in the water here all of a sudden? When did student/teacher relationships become the norm?"

"I cannot pretend it does not surprise me Minerva, nor can I admit a fondness for it but if it takes my approval of a couples feelings to make them happy and healthy I will do it. Remus Lupin is a sensible man and he'll look after her."

"Remus! Mirrim Hallows is with Remus? Good god Albus, do you realise how risky this relationship is?"

"Of course I do Minerva! I also know how insanely in love they are and how much it would hurt them if I didn't let them be together. This is not ideal I grant you but we have a duty as colleagues, senior staff members, teachers and friends to do what is best for our faculty and students. If it can work for Severus and Alex it can work for Remus and Mirrim."

"I do not deny that they are well matched or that they will take care of each other but they both have rather large secrets that they will have to share sooner or later. Is it really so unreasonable to assume that in the long run letting them pursue a relationship could be more harmful than denying it?" Albus sighed.

"Minerva they were making themselves ill over this. I can understand your concerns and to an extent I share them. I do believe however that this is the right thing to do. All we can do is hope for the best." Minerva nodded. She understood why letting Remus and Mirrim be together seemed the best course of action, she just hoped it was.

Mirrim stared at the clock, her wand lit. She had closed the curtains on her bed and tried to read for an hour before giving up and watching the clock. It had threatened to drive her insane after the first ten minutes had passed. She had managed to read for almost forty minutes before she looked at the clock again. She had been watching it for ten minutes, it now read 11:59 and had ten seconds to go.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" She jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. She startled a few of the older Gryffindors who were up late when she practically flew through the common room and out of the portrait hole. She ran through the corridors and up and down flights of stairs until she got to Remus' office and burst through without knocking. He was reading in a chair by the fire and looked up in shock as she entered. She smiled brilliantly.

"I'm sixteen!" She squealed. Remus' face broke into an equally brilliant smile. He leapt from the chair and hugged her, spinning her round.

"Happy Birthday!" He exclaimed as he set her down.

"Thank you."


	16. Mirrim's Birthday

"Happy Birthday, Mirrim." Alex dropped a wrapped package in front of Mirrim, narrowly missing her plate, which was full.

"Thanks Alex."

"Don't thank me until you see what I've got you." Mirrim shrugged and ripped the wrapping paper off. Alex had got her the whole series of Naruto on DVD.

"Wow. Thanks!" Mirrim stood up and hugged her friend.

"Yeah, yeah I rock. See you later." She went to sit at the Ravenclaw table, kicking a boy making eyes at her on the way.

"Happy Birthday." Hermione said cheerily handing Mirrim a card and what felt like a book. It turned out to be a copy of 'Great Wizarding Events of the 20th Century'.

"Thanks Hermione." Hermione beamed at Mirrim before turning to talk to Harry. Mirrim glanced up at the staff table. Remus was talking to Severus, she wondered if he'd got her anything for her birthday. When she burst in on him last night, after a few kisses and the beginnings of a group, Remus had taken her back up to Gryffindor tower and told her that he looked forward to seeing her later. Apart from the Happy birthday she'd got from him, which she had thoroughly enjoyed, there hadn't been anything else. Suddenly the post arrived and four owls delivered to her. One was a card from her mum, via a witch she knew, with a note saying she'd give Mirrim her present when she saw her for the holidays. The second was a book about Medieval wizardry a friend had ordered for her and the third was a small package with an R on it. She glanced up at the staff table and saw Remus feed the owl who'd delivered that package some of his bacon before looking at her and nodding. She smiled and slipped that package into her bag, determined to open it later on her own.

"Would you stop grinning Remus, you look like a Cheshire cat I keep expecting you to disappear and just your teeth to remain."

"Forgive me Severus, I'm finding it difficult not to." Severus rolled his eyes.

"I can understand your relief now the month is over but do you have to act like a teenager."

"Just because you have the lowest capacity on earth to show your emotions Severus, does not mean none of us can."

"That is not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"If you two gentlemen wouldn't mind." Dumbledore broke in. "Could you save your little domestics for a less public place and time?"

"Sorry headmaster." Severus said quietly.

"Sorry." Remus said sheepishly, trying to stop smiling.

"Smile by all means dear boy, it's not your fault Severus lacks the capacity whilst out of Miss Roberts' company." Severus scowled and Remus chuckled slightly.

"The things that girl must see." Remus said lightly, until he realised what that must have sounded like. Severus kicked him under the table then rose and stalked off, a slight shade of pink gracing his cheekbones. Remus turned to Dumbledore who was looking at the Ravenclaw table, after a few seconds Alex rose and left, no doubt to find Severus and ask what the matter was before the school schedule would separate them for the day. He then turned to Remus.

"Can I ask a personal question Remus?"

"By all means."

"Were you and Miss Hallows planning to have a physical relationship any time soon?" Remus blinked.

"Well I wasn't, I'm afraid I can't speak for her." Dumbledore leaned forward, keeping their conversation as private as it could be during breakfast.

"It is not my place to interfere in your relationship Remus and anything you and Miss Hallows decide to do or not do is none of my concern as long as it has nothing to do with the school. Yet I would advise against you two being that intimate until some time has passed. She is still very young and, to an extent, naïve. With something like that I would expect you to have the responsibility to be completely honest with her before you get to that stage."

"I'm not sure I fully understand you Albus."

"Well then let me be clear without being blunt my friend. If you feel yourself get close to that stage, tell her to ask you why you are ill every month and when she does answer honestly." Remus swallowed hard and nodded. Dumbledore drew back and started to talk to McGonagall. Remus stared at his plate, suddenly not hungry anymore. When he and Mirrim had,had to wait a month before pursuing a relationship, it had easy to forget the matter of his sickness. It hadn't seemed quite real that Mirrim felt for him as he felt for her. Now however, they were free to do as they liked in each others company. Dumbledore was right as well, he would have to tell her eventually and it would be better for her to know before they went all the way. He had no idea of how long that would be. Neither of them particularly wanted to rush things but at the same time Mirrim was a beautiful young girl and he wasn't getting any younger. It would depend on how quickly things did progress between them, how close they got and how ready they felt to determine when it would get to the physical stage. Either way, the conversation that would proceed was hardly something to look forward to. Remus had been enthused this morning when Mirrim had appeared in his rooms to inform him that it was after midnight, now however, the reality of what that meant was hitting home and the feeling he had been dreading finally came to the surface, he was terrified.

**A/N I know it's short sorry. Will try to make the next one longer.**

**Kindest Regards**

**ER**


	17. First Date

Mirrim had a mixture of lessons, some that seemed to take forever and some that seemed to fly past. At lunchtime she went to the dorms to open Remus' present. It turned out to be a silver charm bracelet adorned with a silver cat, pentagram, tiger and a heart. She couldn't find it in her to feel the heart was cheesy, she thought it was sweet. Alex would no doubt think it was tacky but it was clear Remus had put a lot of thought into his gift. Mirrim wondered if he'd got her a charm bracelet deliberately so they could add to it as time went on. She then had a sudden realisation. Tonight was going to be her first date with Remus, and she hadn't decided what to wear. The next twenty minutes saw her throwing almost all her clothes on her bed. She was sitting in the middle of the chaos when Hermione walked in.

"I was coming to see if you were okay as you weren't at lunch but now I see you've been clearing out all your clothes." There was an edge of sarcasm to her voice. Mirrim groaned.

"I have nothing to wear!"

"I think you'll find you do, you're just sitting on it all."

"No I mean I have nothing for tonight. It's my first date with Remus and I have fuck all to wear!"

"Apart from the fact I don't think Remus will give a damn what you wear I'm sure we can find something. Let's sort through these, I'll help you."

It was just before the end of lunch that Hermione managed to convince Mirrim that jeans and t shirt were a little too casual and picked out her red medieval style dress that showed off just enough cleavage. Then they realised the time and ran to make sure they weren't late for their next class.

The rest of the afternoon passed agonizingly slowly for Mirrim. This was partly due to the fact she was dying to see Remus, and partly because she hadn't eaten since breakfast and was so hungry she wrote the word 'cheese' in her notes in the place of 'charm'. At the end of her last lesson she was about to go to dinner when Professor McGonagall called her back.

"Miss Hallows, a moment please." McGonagall waited before everyone had left before she spoke again. Professor Lupin has asked me to give you a message. He would like you to go and see him before going to dinner."

"Thank you Professor." Mirrim smiled and made her way to Gryffindor tower to change, trying not to run. She changed in what had to be record time, then put her outer robes on to hide the dress before making her way to Remus' rooms.

Remus paced his living room impatiently. He knew he couldn't possibly expect Mirrim to suddenly appear at the end of the day but he was still anxious for her arrival. His mind drifted to earlier in the day.

"_Severus I need your help."_

"_What with."_

"_What should I wear tonight?"_

"_I believe clothes would be appropriate Lupin."_

"_I'm serious Severus, what do you think I should wear?"_

"_How the bloody hell should I know?"_

"_Well what did you wear on your first date with Alex?"_

"_I wore my robes."_

"_Your everyday robes?"_

"_Yes."_

"_What did she wear?"_

"_Her school uniform."_

"_I'm sorry I asked."_

"_I thought I was meant to be the one with the dirty mind. She came to see me straight after Dumbledore had gone and told her I felt for her as she felt for me and then we had our first date."_

"_You didn't even plan it?"_

"_You don't really have time to plan when the girl you love bursts into the room and pounces on __you."_

"_Oh god I have no idea what to do?"_

"_But you've already planned this evening."_

"_Yes but now I don't know what to wear."_

"_Wear anything Remus, I doubt she'll care."_

In the end Remus had settled on a black shirt and black trousers, and had spent ten minutes worrying whether or not he looked too much like he was going to a funeral before he decided it didn't really matter as he was lucky to even have a girl coming to have a date with him, then took to pacing, waiting for her to turn up.

Mirrim took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to calm herself. She stared at the door then mentally shook herself. She smoothed down her clothes and hair, adjusted the necklace she'd decided to wear at the last minute and pushed the charm bracelet close to her hand. She knocked. Inside, Remus jumped. Then took a breath and opened the door. They stared at each other for a moment. 'God she looks so beautiful.' Remus thought. 'He is so sexy.' Mirrim thought. Then they came to their senses and smiled at each other.

"Good evening, Mirrim."

"Good evening, Remus." Remus stepped back to let Mirrim enter. Her eyes immediately went to the small table in front of the fire. It was set for two with very pretty china and cutlery. It was like a fine restaurant. A napkin in a ring on her plate, candles in the middle and a rose in a vase in front of one of the seats.

"Happy Birthday." Remus whispered behind her. His voice sent a shiver down her spine and she giggled nervously. She had no idea why she was nervous but she could feel her heart pounding. Remus swallowed hard. He suddenly realised how intimate a setting it was, how open their relationship seemed to have become all of a sudden. It was true that besides Dumbledore and McGonagall, as far as they knew only Snape and Alex knew they were a couple (Mirrim hadn't told Remus about Hermione). However finally acknowledging it somehow made it all the more real. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time. Still acting the gentleman Remus pulled out Mirrim's chair. As she sat she shrugged her outer robe off to reveal her dress and Remus felt his breath catch, that was one hell of a dress. In her robes Mirrim's body wasn't really noticeable but now he could see everything from the alabaster skin on her back to the full roundness of her breasts. It's true she was covered but there was just enough visible to make his mouth dry. 'And Dumbledore wanted us to take things slowly.' He thought to himself. He moved round to his side of the table and sat down. Mirrim picked up her napkin, she looked nervous.

"Are you alright Mirrim?"

"Yes I'm fine." She looked up at him, I'm just a little overwhelmed. I didn't expect this."

"Well it is your birthday Mirrim."

"Yes. Thank you so much for my present."

"You're quite welcome." He smiled at her. "What would you like to eat?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What would you like to eat? What's your favourite?"

"Erm...lasagne. Vegetarian." Lasagne suddenly appeared on her plate. "This is Quorn meat right?" Remus smiled.

"Yes, the houselves seem to have everything. I've never tried Quorn meat. I'll have the same." An identical lasagne appeared on his plate. "What would you like to drink?"

"Pumpkin juice."

"I'll have lemonade." They started to eat in comfortable silence, happy to finally be together. After they'd finished their first course, Lupin ordered cheesecake for them both with a cup of lady grey tea and chocolate frogs. Mirrim was impressed that he knew her favourite dessert and drink. It had been the best birthday ever.

"You know Remus, you did such a good job today all our other dates won't measure up."

"Well it is your birthday, and what makes you think I won't exceed your expectations?" He grinned at her and she giggled.

"I'm challenging you Remus, I'd be happy to cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film."

"I know sweetheart, I just wanted today to be special for you." Mirrim shifted a little uncomfortably. Remus frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Well now I have to think of something special for you and I'm rubbish at that."

"To be honest Mirrim that dress is enough." Mirrim blushed furiously then giggled, that became laughter which was joined by Remus. It had been a shock tactic to lighten the mood but was so unexpected it threw them both into hysterical laughter. After they calmed down Remus stood up. "I've just realised it's past curfew."

"Oh." Mirrim swallowed.

"Don't worry, if I walk you back you won't be in trouble."

"Thanks."

"So, ready to call it a night? Your birthday's not over but it will be in a couple of hours."

"Yeah, I'd like to end my birthday on a high. I best go back." Remus handed Mirrim her outer robe as she stood up then gave her a kiss, it was soft and loving but just as passionate as their first had been. Reluctantly Remus pulled away.

"Come on, let's go before we lose the power of our legs." Mirrim smiled, that kiss had left her a little weak in the knees. They walked up to Gryffindor tower, careful not to stand to close, resisting the urge to reach out to each other. At the portrait hole the fat Lady closed her eyes.

"Be quick Professor and no one will see." she said in a sing song voice. He smiled and kissed Mirrim quickly.

"Happy birthday, Mirrim." He whispered.

"Good night, Remus." She whispered back. The Fat Lady opened her eyes.

"Password?"

"Facta non Versa." The portrait swung open and Mirrim disappeared behind it.

"Good night, Lupin." The Fat Lady said. He inclined his head and walked away. Round the corner he walked straight into Snape.

"The throes of love affected your eyesight Remus?"

"Sorry Severus. Why are you out, you're not on patrol until next week surely?" Snape swallowed.

"I was summoned."

"Oh, forgive me." Snape nodded and walked past Remus. Severus very rarely looked worried but he did then, of course he had Alex to protect now and Voldemort was known for using legilimency on his followers. He just hoped Serverus still had the knack of blocking certain thoughts from breaking through. How he'd done it before Alex and he had got together he didn't know. He hadn't been able to keep Mirrim out of his thoughts before he'd found out how she felt about him. He walked back to his chambers. When he entered he realised something. He hadn't thought about his curse once, it was the first time he hadn't had it on his mind. He wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad thing. But he decided not to dwell on it he went to bed and dreamed of Mirrim.


	18. Morning After

"Okay, tell me everything." Alex sat on the sofa, facing Mirrim, with her legs crossed in front of her.

"Okay. So he sent me a silver charm bracelet."

"Yes I can see that. Get to the good stuff already!"

"What good stuff? Nothing happened."

"Nothing?"

"Well, we kissed."

"That's it?"

"It was our first date."

"So? I was so sexually frustrated I cold barely wait till after dinner to ravage Severus."

"Well you guys are different to me and Remus."

"Are you still a virgin Mirrim?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well I got to tell you, I used to think sex was over rated. So much better when it's with a man rather than a boy. And it's better when you're in love. Seriously, good that you haven't done it yet. Well, you should have done it last night, but it's good you waited till falling in love to think about it."

"Well, I haven't really thought about it."

"Really? You're sixteen now, you're allowed to do it."

"Well thank you Alex I wasn't aware of that."

"That wasn't sarcastic at all was it."

"Oh like you're not being sarcy now?"

"You started it!"

"Well you're the one who keeps telling me to have sex."

"No I'm not. I'm just surprised you didn't do it."

"I'm not even sure I want to yet."

"But it's good. Severus is so good in bed. You know one thing that's great that he does?"

"That room isn't sound proof Alex!"

"Shut up Severus, I'm having a conversation." The door opened and Severus' head appeared.

"Do you have to have a conversation like that?"

"I'm a girl! This is what we do."

"What compare notes!"

"Yeah."

"Oh god." He disappeared again and the door closed. Both Mirrim and Alex giggled.

"Why don't you put a silencing charm up Alex?"

"What and miss out on the fun! Anyway if I did that he'd be extra worried about what I was saying, that's also why he hasn't put one up."

"Anything else you want to know?"

"Okay, so there was no juicy stuff. What did he do for your first date."

"Romantic meal."

"Sickeningly sweet. So what did you have?"

"Vegetarian lasagne, pumpkin juice, cheesecake and lady grey tea."

"Lupin had pumpkin juice?

"No he had lemonade, everything else was the same. Oo and chocolate frogs."

"Oh good, he gave you chocolate, that is always a good sign."

"Does Severus give you chocolate?"

"No. I steal his money to get it myself." The door burst open and Severus entered pointing a finger accusingly at Alex.

"I knew it!" Alex rolled her eyes. "You said you didn't know what had happened to it!" Mirrim suppressed the urge to giggle. Seeing Severus and Alex on the brink of a domestic was highly amusing.

"Well if you bothered to buy it for me once in a while Severus, I wouldn't have to steal your money."

"You don't have to steal my bloody money you have your own!"

"You're my boyfriend, it's your job to buy me things!"

"I do not consider it my job to fatten you up!"

"I am not fat!"

"You will be if you stuff your face with chocolate!"

"Well it's not like I don't work out Severus, though if you keep this up that will stop!" Mirrim cringed and silently slipped out, not liking where this as going. Though as she walked out she broke into a run when she suddenly heard.

"If you keep stealing from me Alex you can forget me giving you any more..." Mirrim didn't stop running until she collided, rather violently, with Hermione. Both girls shrieked and clung to each other as they fell to the floor in a heap of limbs and robes. They disentangled themselves and stood up.

"Mirrim, what on earth are you doing?"

"Sorry Hermione, I was...distracted." Hermione frowned, sure Mirrim was hiding something.

"Well...five points from Gryffindor for running in the corridors." Mirrim swallowed and nodded.

"Bye Hermione."

"Bye Mirrim." Hermione watched Mirrim go, wondering what she'd been running from. From Mirrim's expression, she felt certain it was nothing particularly unpleasant, such as running from Slytherins, but she would have bet her prefect badge it had something to do with the rumours flying about Alex and Severus. Something was definitely going on between those two and rumours no longer were confined to whispers behind hands in common rooms. It did not seem that Alex or Snape were the least bit bothered, but Hermione was tired of knocking house points off when she heard people talking and was worried that, the way things were going, it wouldn't belong before rumours about Lupin and Mirrim would start circulating. Despite the fact that Hermione knew that they would probably bother Mirrim and Lupin more than they did Alex and Snape, They were both her friends, she didn't want any of what they were up to being broadcast over the entire school. That is if there were up to anything. It was true they were now a couple, but neither struck Hermione as the type to rush things, especially with Lupin's somewhat problematic...condition. However what ever was happening or was going to happen was between Remus and Mirrim, it wasn't any of her business. She just hoped to god that Snape, if he and Alex were together, Remus and Dumbledore knew what they were doing. Heaven only knew what would happen if Voldemort found out about any of it. One of his Deatheaters and werewolves getting involved with their students was a big deal. Hermione knew Dumbledore would never endanger his friends or the structure of the order but it seemed incredibly risky to let these relationships progress. However, it was still none of her business, she just hoped it never would be.

**A/N I know it's a little short but it's been driving me crazy. I'll try to make the next one longer**

**Kindest Regards**

**ER**


	19. Questions

"Lupin, I want to talk to you." Remus jumped at the sound of Severus' voice coming from the fireplace.

"Feel free to come in Severus." Severus appeared brushing ash from his robes. "What's the matter?"

"Alex and I had a fight."

"And you're coming to me for relationship advice?"

"Not exactly. Do you know that girls talk?"

"I was aware they had that ability."

"Don't be so sarcastic Remus, I'm not in the mood."

"Well tell me what on earth you're talking about."

"Girls! They compare notes. _Relationship _notes. Alex is telling Mirrim all about us and Mirrim is talking to Alex about you. It's disconcerting."

"You had a fight with Alex because of that?"

"Partly, that was a factor but it was mainly because she's been stealing my money to buy chocolate." Remus tried, and failed, not to laugh.

"That's not so very dreadful Severus? What's a sickle here and there, it's not as though she's taking out galleons and buying all of Honeyduke's is it?"

"That's not the point! She shouldn't be stealing from me?"

"Do you ever buy her chocolate?"

"No."

"Then buy her some and get over it man. Women have needs you know. There's some kind of strange thing that make women need chocolate."

"Is that why so many girls are large?"

"Say something like that again Severus and I'll hex you. You and Alex have got to stop having stupid fights about little things. Your girlfriend has a confidante and although I may not have known girls compare notes I don't see why it bothers you so."

"It bothers me that my girlfriend is telling your girlfriend explicit details about our sex life." Remus' eyes widened.

"Is she really?"

"Well, I usually stop her before she gets too far and then she switches topics for a while. But what if she says something when I'm not there?"

"My god. I cannot believe you've been a teacher for as long as you have and don't know one thing about teenage girls."

"What do you mean?"

"She does it to get a reaction, a rise out of you. She's baiting you, you bloody idiot." He finished at Severus' bemused look. "She probably gives vague stories with no detail when you're not around, she does it for the fun of your reaction. To be honest I don't think Mirrim would particularly want to know the details of yours and Miss Roberts'...exploits beyond the bedroom door. It's what girls do. The sooner you understand these things the better if you ask me. Though I do think you have yet to see the benefits of arguments."

"And what, pray tell, oh wise guru of student/teacher relations, is that?" Snape growled. Remus grinned and blushed slightly.

"Make up sex."

Mirrim rested her cheek in her hand and twiddled her quill between her fingers. She was bored out of her mind. She glanced around. The library was pretty empty, even Hermione wasn't there. She looked down at her half finished potions paper than gave up an stuffed it into her bag. She just couldn't find the motivation to work any longer, she needed a break. The paper wasn't due for another two days and there was no point in her staring at it like it would miraculously complete itself. She left the library and went outside to sit by the lake. She smiled as she remembered the last time she'd sat by the lake, talking to Alex about her upcoming date with Remus. She lay back and closed her eyes. It was a pleasant day and she'd liked the fact it wasn't too sunny but wasn't cold either.

"Hey Mirrim!" A voice called out to her, she reluctantly sat up and looked towards the voice, it turned out to be Jake. She sighed, what on earth did he want. He came up to her and smiled. "Listen, I know you didn't want to go out with me but I was wondering if you'd be my study partner."

"What?"

"I could do with a study partner and was wondering if you'd be mine." Mirrim swallowed, she still had an odd feeling about Jake, like something wasn't quite right about him. She was trying to think of a way to say no without sounding like a total bitch.

"Look Jake I'm sorry but I can't be your study partner, for one thing it's weird because you're older than me and for another, I don't want a study partner."

"Look Hallows, would you just go out with me already?" Mirrim frowned and stood up.

"For god's sake Jake! Which part of 'no' do you not understand? I don't want to go out with you so stop asking." She scowled and stalked back up to the castle. What was it with boys? Maybe this was why she and Alex were attracted to older men, it was the maturity that boys their age lacked. She wondered if it would be all right to go and see Remus without alerting him first, it was a Saturday. She decided to bite the bullet and go for it. She reached his door and knocked. Inside, Remus and Severus jumped.

"Come in." Remus called. Mirrim opened the door and looked inquiringly at Severus as she closed the door.

"Good afternoon, Miss Hallows."

"Good afternoon, Professor Snape."

"Good afternoon, Mirrim."

"Good afternoon, Remus."

"Well I'd best be going Lupin."

"Good luck Severus." Severus nodded before flooing away.

"What did he do?"

"Argued with Alex."

"Oh. Nothing new then." Remus chuckled.

"No nothing new. Tea?"

"Please." Mirrim sat by the fire as Remus made some tea.

"So what can I do for you Mirrim? Apart from this." He leant forward and kissed her. Mirrim smiled as he drew back and handed her a cup.

"I was just a little bored, couldn't concentrate on anything. Thought I'd come and see you."

"I'm honoured. A castle full of students and you come to see an old man."

"You're not an old man Remus." Mirrim sighed. "Please stop saying you are."

"I am no spring chicken Mirrim."

"Well it's not as if you're decrepit or anything. Though..."

"Yes?"

"No it's none of my business."

"How can it be none of your business? Unless it's to do with someone else it surely should be your business, we are in a relationship after all."

"Well, you are ill every month." An uncomfortable silence followed. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

"No it's all right." Remus sighed. "Everybody's understandably curious about that."

"Well is it some kind of condition? Only I thought it was only women who got ill every month." Remus laughed slightly.

"It is a kind of condition."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Mirrim, you have a right to be curious."

"Yes but we don't know that much about each other and it's still early on, you can tell me when you're ready, if you ever are."

"Thank you. It is really a conversation for a later date." Mirrim nodded and sipped her tea.

"So, what shall we talk about?" Remus took his tea and sat opposite Mirrim. He took a sip and thought for a minute.

"Well, we could ask questions about each other. If we're okay to answer them we do, if it's too soon, we say later and leave it at that."

"All right, that seems do able. You go first."

"All right. Least favourite colour."

"Pink."

"Really?"

"Oh yes. Lavender Brown makes me cringe with all the Barbie doll crap she covers herself with."

"She does tend to cover herself with a little too much girly attire. Your turn."

"Hmmm. Favourite animal."

"Oh that's hard. I couldn't really say."

"That's such a cop out. Pick one you like if you can't pick a favourite."

"Okay, stag."

"Okay."

"There's one thing I'd like to know Mirrim, but I understand if it's a delicate subject."

"All right." Mirrim was very curious, she wasn't sure what he wanted to know that he'd be curious about.

"Do you know who you father is?"


	20. Panic

**A/N This is a very, very VERY short chapter, more a paragraph to lead into the next chapter. Just thought I'd be cruel and just give a preview. Mwahaha. Also I didn't know how to use this opening in a full chapter. I am working on doing another chapter for ALL my fics so bear with me. I'll work on this after A New Moon Rises is updated. TTFN**

The silence that followed was heavier than lead. Mirrim felt panic choke her. She knew who her father was but she wasn't about to tell Remus. _Not now, not when it's going so well._

"Mirrim?"

"I..I.."

"Mirrim just say later. Mirrim are you alright?"

Mirrim shook her head; it felt like the world had tilted, her head was spinning. She knew what was happening as she struggled to breathe. She was having a panic attack. She felt tears prick her eyes. She coughed and rasped. Then a voice calling to her through a thick fog.

"Mirrim? Mirrim!" Then nothingness.


	21. Remus Hates Mirrim's Father

Mirrim groaned, her head hurt, but she was lying on something soft.

"Mirrim?" She opened her eyes slowly and saw Remus sitting next to her. He'd laid her on a couch and he had a worried look in his eyes. "Are you alright?" Mirrim frowned.

"I have a headache but apart from that I'm fine."

"You scared me for a minute there." He smiled at her. She smiled back, and then her smile faltered when she remembered why she'd had a panic attack. Remus noticed. "Listen I'm sorry Mirrim. I really shouldn't have asked that question. Even I know that's a conversation for a later date. I know only two members of the faculty know. Although I'm curious it's not really my place to ask you. It's your choice if and when you ever tell me." She smiled again.

"Thank you Remus. I'm sorry I lost it, it's just…a difficult subject for me. I know how he treated my mother and I just try to…block all thoughts of him out." Remus nodded.

"It's alright Mirrim we'll talk about something else." She nodded and smiled again. Then she swung her legs over the side of the couch and sat up. Remus sat next to her and put his arm around her. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder. It was nice just to sit like this. It was almost as though Mirrim's panic attack hadn't happened. She decided to forget about it. It was a temporary glitch, easily solved and easy to forget. She forgot about unpleasant things easily enough and this was just another. Remus on the other hand, could not forget about it. Apart from the fact his unreasonable question had caused it, he suddenly hated Mirrim's father. He didn't even know what the man looked like, but he hated him. He hated for the pain Mirrim felt because of him, he hated for the secrecy Mirrim was forced to have because of him. He hated him, because it was an issue, and issues were always problematic to a relationship. If Mirrim chose never to tell Remus he would understand, it was her choice, but secrets always put a strain on a relationship. His secret, he would have to tell her at some point, she had a right to now and it would be hard if not impossible to have any kind of long term relationship without her knowing. Her secret on the other hand, he had no right to know. Her father wasn't part of her life; she had no reason to tell him if she didn't want to. The only reason Professor McGonagall knew was because, as Mirrim's head of house, she had to. If Mirrim had been in Hufflepuff, only Dumbledore and Flitwick would know, if Slytherin Snape would know and so on. He held her a little tighter, wishing he could take all her pain away, wishing she didn't know who her father was and that her mother had never been hurt by him. Mirrim smiled and snuggled closer. She could stay like this forever. Remus looked down at her and kissed the top of her head smiling.

"I love you Mirrim."

"I love you too."

"Hey Hallows!" Mirrim turned to see Alex jogging to catch up with her.

"Hey Alex." Alex caught up and frowned at her.

"Have you had sex?"

"What! No!"

"Well then wipe that stupid smile of your face you look like you slept hung up in the cupboard."

"You smile enough when you think no one's looking."

"I do not. When I smile, no one _is _looking."

"or so you think."

"Stop arguing with me Mirrim and please say if you didn't have sex you a least have something juicy to tell me."

"Sorry."

"Okay. What the hell is the point with you having a relationship with an older guy, if you're not getting any fun out of it?"

"It is fun. You and Snape aren't exactly at it like rabbits."

"That's because he has to work and shit. If he didn't we'd spend all day in bed."

"You don't even do that at weekends. Well that's because I expect you to come see me because you'll have something good to tell me. I may start dragging Severus to bed at the weekends if you keep this stupid chastity thing up."

"I'm just not ready for that yet."

"Why? It's not like you'd be doing it with some random dude who just wants a shag, like that loser Jake who keeps ogling you. This is a guy you really love. Isn't it meant to be the next step after love?"

"When did you get romantic?"

"I'm trying to convince you to have sex Mirrim I';d pretend to be nun idf it got you to do it already."

"Okay Alex I'll save you some time. I promise to tell you the day after I lose my virginity okay." Alex thought for a moment.

"Okay. I won't keep asking you whether or not you've done it but I will keep trying to make you do it." Mirrim rolled her eyes.

I wouldn't expect anything less."


	22. Conversations

True to her word, Alex kept trying to persuade Mirrim to, as she put it, move the relationship to its long overdue appropriate level. Mirrim was tempted to ask how Alex's first sexual encounter with Snape went, but was afraid she wouldn't like the answer and, knowing Alex, it'd be explained more explicitly than she cared to hear. However the constant badgering eventually got Mirrim to wonder what it would be like to sleep with Remus. She knew they were very attracted to each other, but she wasn't sure she was ready to go all the way and even if she was, there was no way of knowing whether or not Remus was without explicitly asking him, which she had no intention of doing.

The thing that plagued Mirrim most about the whole thing was that whether she was ready or not was irrelevant as long as she still had the issue of her father left unresolved. She knew enough from various sources that it was best not to move into the physical part of the relationship until there was complete trust between the two parties. For that to happen to her and Remus she would have to tell him who her father was and she sure as hell wasn't ready for that. There was also the fact, that Remus himself had a secret he was not yet ready to divulge, the issue of this illness every month. Mirrim had no idea what it was. There was a horrible little imp in the back of her mind which was constantly telling her that if she thought about it and did a little research that she would probably be able to discover it herself. She tried, at regular intervals, to beat that annoying realisation to death, she was curious it was true but rather hoped she'd never have to abuse whatever trust Remus had in her purely to satisfy it. He would tell her when he was ready, just as she would tell him her secret when she was ready.

"Okay so I have a question." Alex whispered. Mirrim looked up from her transfiguration essay to look at her friend. There were both in the library. Mirrim to do her homework, Alex to pretend to while actually reading a Manga book and talking to Mirrim now and again.

"And what's that then?"

"If Lupin asked you, would you give him a blow job?" Mirrim overturned her inkwell and cursed as it shattered, causing the ink to cover her textbook.

"For fuck's sake Alex!" She hissed as she pulled out her wand. "_Reparo." _The inkwell repaired and righted itself.

"I'm just asking."

"Well please don't. _Scourgify."_ Mirrim muttered watching the ink disappear.

"I'm just trying to assess how much more I have to work on you before you get down to it already. I've been trying for long enough, now I'm trying to see if I've made any progress."

"Well if you must know, I don't know. I can't really imagine Remus asking me that."

"Well, neither can I. But then I couldn't imagine Severus doing it either yet he did." Mirrim raised her eyebrows and leant closer to Alex.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." Alex grinned.

"How?"

"I dunno." Alex shrugged.

"Oh come on! You can't say something like that and get away with not painting at least part of the picture for me. I doubt he just said 'Hey Alex, would you mind sucking me off'."

"Well obviously, if he'd said that I would have hexed him then done it when he was in a full body bind purely to piss him off."

"Well come on then what did he say?"

"Well…he didn't say anything really. We were fooling around with foreplay and my hand was already there. He kind of…gently pushed my head down. It was pretty obvious what he wanted. Since then he asks but he doesn't call it a blow job or anything like that. He asks me to, now how does he put it? 'Do that delectable thing with that talented mouth of yours'" She giggled as did Mirrim.

"Sweet as that is, I can't imagine Remus saying anything like that either."

"Well no, of course not. He's not as wonderfully eloquent as my guy, but all men enjoy it. Maybe he'll do what Sev did and just push your head down one day. Of course it would help if you actually got a move on and jumped him already." Mirrim rolled her eyes.

"Okay I can understand, to some degree, your relentless need to convince me to go all the way but do you have to do it constantly?"

"Convince you to do it? Until it works Mirrim yes, I have to."

"Oh how bloody brilliant."

"Just be thankful I have the foresight to make sure no one is ever close enough to hear, or if they are I always lower my voice. Apart from the fact I don't want to drop you and Lupin in it, if it got out that most of the rumours about Sev and I are true it could cause major problems." Mirrim nodded. She may not know everything about Snape the way Alex seemed to but she knew that he was a deatheater turned spy. How she knew she wasn't going to reveal if she could help it. That was why Alex didn't know that Mirrim knew.

Even if Snape hadn't had that particular issue to worry about, even the rumours about his and Alex's relationship had caused a few problems. Student/ teacher relationships, even in the wizarding world, weren't really allowed. There was a loophole to do with the discretion of the headmaster, a loophole that was proving useful in the current circumstances, but Mirrim hadn't been of age that long and Alex had only just made the margin when she hand Snape had gotten together. Although unknown to anyone, Remus and Mirrim had shared a rather heated kiss prior to Mirrim being of age. While that wasn't really against the law it was very much a grey area precariously balancing on a slightly fuzzy borderline.

"So tell me Remus, what brings you here of all places. I doubt you're simply seeking my company."

"I am hurt Severus."

"Indeed?"

"No not really, in fact I feel a little ashamed that we never see each other in a more social way."

"Well why should we?"

"I don't know." Remus shrugged. "Perhaps because we're colleagues, because we have at least one thing in common, because we always seem to be able to find something to talk about."

"We usually are talking about the one thing we have in common Remus, there does not seem to be much more for us to build upon."

"True Severus but we do seek each other out for advice. I understand that we have little choice but it's still something friends tend to do."

"I see your point Remus, though you still haven't answered my question. I believe it is probably prudent to discuss your actual reason for coming to see me, rather than for me to let you evade whatever the issue is to contemplate the state of our so far undefined relationship."

"I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?"

"See straight through me and manage to pick up on me evading the issue early enough for me to not be able to get away with it."

"Oh that." Snape looked amused, Remus glared at him.

"There's no need to sound so smug about it Severus."

"Oh I beg to differ, Lupin. As I am sure you are aware, or if not you will be soon, when you have a teenage girlfriend you never win anymore. I've got to take my winning when I can. I just won, therefore I'm happy and, as you say, smug. Allow me to be smug as I don't get to win as much as I used to."

"It worries me how much you're learning about teenage girls Severus. It seems twisted that your years of teaching haven't taught you nearly as much as a year of dating one of them."

"You weren't going to say dating were you; I saw that flicker before you said it. You were going to say screwing weren't you?"

"She's getting to you Severus I was not. I was actually going to say sleeping with but I was afraid you might hex me. You definitely would have at least pounded me if I'd said 'screwing'. Anyway that word reminds me of a cocktail I was once offered in a muggle bar so I tend not to use it."

"You're evading again Lupin."

"You really are insufferable sometimes Severus."

"Will you shut up and tell me what the problem is already Remus, I have better things to do than listen to you analysing my relationship."

"Fine. It's about my condition. Should I tell Mirrim?" Severus looked a little shocked for a moment.

"Well what business is it of mine whether or not you tell her?"

"I'm just asking your opinion."

"Well I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." There was a pause.

"There's no need to be so bloody pedantic about it, Severus."

"There would be no need for me to be anything without you asking such a stupid question. Ask Dumbledore if you should tell her."

"You know he'd say to tell her when I was ready and before things got to…a certain level."

"Then take his advice Remus, why do you assume mine would be any different?"

"I may not know you well Severus, but I know you well enough to know you will have your own steadfast opinion and I'd like to know what it is." Snape looked Remus in the eye and sighed.

"Are you sure you want to hear this Remus? You may not like what I have to say about it."

"It would be my own fault Severus; I'm the one who asked." Remus said quietly. Snape swallowed.

"To a point, I agree with Dumbledore. In my own opinion, you know you can't keep it from her forever and if you truly love her Remus, she deserves to know."

"You're right; I didn't want to hear that."

"So were you, it is your own bloody fault."

"So I should tell her?"

"If you're ready Lupin. If you're not then there's no immediate need. Though Dumbledore is right, don't let it get to the physical stage before you tell her. She deserves complete honesty before you do something like that."

"Do you have complete honesty with Alex?"

"Unfortunately I do. That girl has enough information to blackmail me into doing anything."

"Yet she doesn't blackmail you into buying her chocolate."

"No, she takes the other criminal route and steals my damn money. And I didn't say she blackmails me, I said she could."

"Any idea why she doesn't?"

"No. And I am never going to ask, the last thing that girl needs is for me to put ideas into her head. She comes up with enough evil plans without me giving her encouragement."

"What kind of evil plans?"

"Do you take some kind of sick delight out of dissecting my relationship with Alex?"

"No, I'm simply curious."

"AS with many other aspects of the situation I don't think you honestly want to know. Anyway, you didn't come here to discuss my relationship, you came to discuss yours. I do admit=t to a certain amount of curiosity as to why you're suddenly contemplating telling Miss Hallows of your condition. Did she ask?"

"Yes, but that was a little while ago. I'm not really sure why I'm thinking about it. I suppose it's because I'm fairly new to all this. I've never been sure how to deal with a relationship. I'm never usually with a woman long enough for my condition to become an issue. I try not to let any relationship get to the stage where I have to reveal what I am."

"Oh I see. This is one relationship you don't want to end. Therefore you know that sooner or later you'll have to tell her."

"Yes. And I'm so afraid of losing her."

"Listen Lupin. If you truly want my advice, I suggest you try not to dwell on it at the moment. Enjoy your relationship with Miss Hallows before the need arises to tell her your secret. If, when the time comes it changes things for you, at least you'll know you did right by her. Until that time comes, forget it; leave that to be a bridge to be crossed when you come to it. Don't build barriers in your relationship when there's no need."

"When did you become so good at relationship advice?"

"I listen to Alex, much as I try not to."

"I believe she's changed you."

"Don't tell anyone."


	23. Secrets

Mirrim tapped her foot impatiently. She'd finally plucked up the courage to talk to Dumbledore and she was having to wait. Every second she had to wait crumbled her resolve a little more. She didn't want to talk about this but she knew she had to. It didn't make it any easier though. She knew that if she'd have to wait much longer she'd give up and go back to the common room, however ill-advised that course of action would be. Suddenly the door opened to reveal Professor Snape.

"Miss Hallows."

"Professor Snape."

"The headmaster will see you now." He stepped to the side to let her enter. She couldn't help but notice that he remained in the room after closing the door. Dumbledore smiled at her. He was standing behind his desk stroking Fawkes.

"Good afternoon Miss Hallows, what can I do for you?" Mirrim knew from Snape's presence that he already knew but decided to play along.

"It's…indirectly I suppose, about my father." Dumbledore nodded.

"I assume that while you say indirectly you mean it's in relation to your relationship with Professor Lupin?"

"Yes sir."

"What is the problem?" He gestured to a chair and sat down as she did. She swallowed hard and glanced at Snape who gave her an encouraging nod.

"I think I need to tell him." Dumbledore blinked, startled.

"Already?"

"Well, I really want us to be honest with each other and I know he's really curious, I'm just so terribly afraid. I know he loves me and I know he has a secret too but this is just so big, I don't want to lose him."

Dumbledore steepled his fingers and thought for a moment before turning to Snape.

"Severus, what are your thoughts?" Snape looked at Mirrim who looked at him briefly before staring at the wall. Snape chewed the inside of his cheek and tried to sort through the thoughts running around in his mind.

"Honestly headmaster?" Dumbledore nodded. Snape sighed and turned to Mirrim.

"Forgive me Miss Hallows but I would advise against it." Mirrim blinked and met his eyes. "Do not mistake me, I have no doubt of Remus' love for you and I understand your reasoning but I do not think it a good idea. Not so soon."

"But it's been months."

"You've known Alex for over a year and I know she does not know." Mirrim swallowed. Snape had a point. Alex was her best friend and she hadn't had it in her to tell her, her secret. There was silence for a moment as everyone thought over what had been said. Dumbledore broke the silence, bringing everyone's attention back to him.

"It is your decision Miss Hallows and neither I nor Severus has any right to tell you what to do, but I would suggest you wait a little longer. You said yourself Remus has his secrets, maybe you should wait until he's ready to divulge his. Also it may be wise to consider the consequences of telling Miss Roberts before contemplating telling Remus, she is your friend after all. I know you and she are very close." Mirrim nodded. Only three people other than her in the entire school knew her secret and none of them were students.

Mirrim had wanted to tell Alex but the timing had never seemed right. How she could think it was time for Remus to know and still not manage to tell Alex was beyond her. Remus was her boyfriend but Alex was her best friend. If she couldn't tell her she couldn't tell anyone.

Mirrim decided not to tell Remus just yet, though she had to do something else.

"Hey Mim, what brings you here?"

"Don't call me Mim. Alex…I need to tell you something."

**A/N I did update. Yey me! Short and a cliff-hanger, please don't kill me. R/R and I will continue ;)**

**Kindest Regards**

**ER**


	24. Alex

Alex raised her eyebrows. And nodded.

"Okay, was not expecting that." Mirrim was staring at the floor and looked up when Alex stopped.

"Is that all you can say?"

"Um, I could say I'm sorry if you like. What did you expect me to say?" Mirrim shrugged.

"I honestly don't know." She looked into Alex's eyes. "You're taking it awfully well."

"Well what did you expect? A curse sent your way and running? Nice to know what you think of me." Alex had humour in her voice but Mirrim noticed the edge of hurt.

"I'm sorry Alex I didn't mean it that way; I just didn't expect you to take it so well."

"You sound like you've just told me you're secretly planning to destroy Hogwarts or something. I know it's a big deal Mirrim and, to be honest it's still sinking in, but I don't think it's going to change much between us, apart from maybe making us closer." She smiled at Mirrim, who smiled back.

"Does Lupin know?" Mirrim's smile faltered and she looked away.

"No." she said quietly.

"Ah." Alex said simply. "Okay." There was a long pause. Neither quite knew what to say. Mirrim continued staring at the floor whilst Alex stared at the far wall, trying to think of something to say. Eventually, Alex turned to Mirrim.

"Are you going to tell him?" Mirrim sighed and looked up.

"I don't know! I know I should and I need to if this relationship is going to go anywhere but I just don't know if I can." She rested her head in her hands and growled in frustration. "I just don't know what to do! Only three people in the school other than you know and that's only out of necessity. I know I should tell Remus but I'm just so afraid of losing him!" She dropped her hand into her lap and lent her head on the back of the sofa. Alex swallowed and thought for a minute.

"Why don't you talk to Severus about it?" She said quietly. Mirrim frowned and turned to her friend.

"What?"

"Well…I assume you know…" Alex realised too late she was just about to let Severus' secret slip, luckily Mirrim replied.

"That he's a double agent? Yes I know but how does that help? It's not as if I'm serving two masters or anything like that." Alex looked visibly relieved and smiled at Mirrim.

"Well, you both have scary secrets; you're both unwilling bearers…"

"Unwilling bearers?" Mirrim interrupted stifling a laugh. "You've been around him to long if you're using expressions like that." Alex playfully thumped her.

"Shut up I'm trying to help here."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, like I said, you two are in a similar situation and yes, I do know yours is a little more complicated." She said quickly at Mirrim's expression. "But I really think you may be able to help each other out in some way." Mirrim shrugged.

"I do know Alex. It's not as if we really know each other. I don't even know if he'd want to help."

"He knows your secret Mirrim; he may be the best person to ask." Mirrim turned away to think. Snape wasn't her head of house, she wasn't close to him at all and she had little reason to think he'd be willing to give up any of his time to help her. However, Alex's suggestion wasn't totally ridiculous. Out of all the people in the school, Snape was probably the best one to talk to about her predicament. He'd obviously told Alex about himself so had taken the risk with her that Mirrim herself was not yet ready to take with Remus. She turned back to Alex.

"It makes sense babe but do you really think he'd be willing to?" Alex shrugged and then grinned at her friend.

"If he shows any reluctance I'm sure I could convince him." She said winking conspiratorially. Mirrim giggled and nodded.

"Yeah I'm sure you could."

"Would you like to know how?"

"No offence but I'd prefer to keep the contents of my stomach in rather than out." And so it was that ten minutes later, Severus Snape walked in on the two of them having a vicious pillow fight. He watched them with amusement before realising, to his discomfort (in more ways than one) that it was turning him on. He left the room abruptly and scowled.

"Damn teenagers!"


	25. Talk

Remus was trying to focus on the third year essays he was supposed to be marking, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. The full moon was approaching and the wolf inside him was stirring turning his attention to the wide open forest and scent of humans in the air. Remus sighed and gave up. Severus would be coming with his potion soon and for Remus' lesson notes. As the thought left him there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." An amused smile appeared on Remus' face as Severus walked in with a goblet. 'Think of the devil' he thought to himself. Severus placed the goblet on Remus' desk and turned to him.

"I have a request to make of you, Remus." Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Indeed, Severus?"

"Must you ask rhetorical questions?" Remus smiled and gestured for Severus to continue as he drank down the potion quickly, grimacing at the taste. "It's about Miss Hallows." Remus frowned as he placed the goblet back on the table.

"What about Miss Hallows?" Severus hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "I need to talk to her, only with her coming to the dungeons so often to talk to Alex; I thought it might be better done in another part of school. I was wondering if I could use your office after I take your class the day after tomorrow." Remus frowned slightly.

"Yes that's quite alright Severus. May I inquire as to what you wish to talk to her about?"

"I would tell you Remus but it's to do with Alex." Severus silently thanked merlin he'd thought up the excuse prior to talking to Remus. Who nodded.

"I see. Yes that's fine. I'll be sure to stay in my chambers for the duration of my absence. Thank you for the potion Severus."

"Not at all Remus." Severus retrieved the goblet. "I shall see you later." Severus left and almost walked straight into Dumbledore.

"Excuse me headmaster."

"Not at all Severus. I was wondering, may I have a word with you?" Severus inclined his head and followed Dumbledore to his office. After offering Severus a chocolate frog and cup of tea, Severus accepted the latter, the two sat in comfortable armchairs by the fire.

"I wanted to inquire, Severus, as to whether or not you've spoken to Miss Hallows yet?"

"I decided to wait until after I cover Remus' class. That way I can simply ask her to stay behind and talk to her in Remus' office. I think it will be easier that way." Dumbledore nodded.

"Good thinking Severus. Have you any idea how exactly to approach the situation?"

"I think bluntness will be best headmaster."

"I do not doubt that my boy but do be careful. This is a very difficult subject and you of all people know how traumatic talking about painful personal experiences can be."

"Of course headmaster. I think I will let Miss Hallows do most of the talking. I'll say what I need to when necessary. There is one thing I was wondering though, Albus."

"Yes Severus?"

"Do you think it would be prudent to have Minerva in attendance? While I can understand Miss Hallows' situation, I am not her head of house." Dumbledore contemplated for a moment.

"I can understand your reasoning Severus but I am not sure of its merit as an idea. I suggest you ask Miss Hallows if she'd prefer Minerva to be in attendance. If she does I'll send Minerva. I'll make sure she's available at the time. If Miss Hallows would like her there then send me your patronus, otherwise I'll assume she's against the idea." Severus nodded.

"Very well headmaster. I shall let you know how this goes."

"Thank you Severus."

Severus left, wondering how this new set of events was going to play out. He sighed. He didn't want to do this but he had little choice. Not only was he really the best man for the job, Dumbledore had made it clear it was an instruction rather than suggestion that he talk to Mirrim. Severus just hoped it was the right decision.

**A/N Sorry it's so short but my muse is struggling. Any suggestions or thoughts? ER**


	26. Snape's Advice

Snape swept his gaze over the students as the practiced shields by throwing stinging hexes at each other, he knew it was going to look suspect for him to ask Mirrim to stay behind for no reason but couldn't think of a reason he couldn't make plausible without being unethical and hexing her partner. Luckily she managed to get knocked over by another student and effectively hit Snape himself with a stinging hex.

"Miss Hallows! You will stay behind and maybe explain to me how you missed your target so spectacularly."

"Yes sir." Mirrim glared at the boy who'd knocked her over, he shrugged a little helplessly.

"Sorry." He whispered. Mirrim nodded and continued practising with her partner.

When the bell rang, Mirrim received quite a few sympathetic looks as she walked up to the desk, Snape waited until the door closed before he turned to Mirrim.

"I think we had better talk in the office Miss Hallows." Mirrim frowned.

"The office sir?"

"Yes Miss Hallows, the office." Snape said with a touch of irritation in his voice. Mirrim followed Snape into the office, slightly confused as to why he hadn't just given her a detention then dismissed her. Safely ensconced in the office, away from any eavesdroppers Snape turned to Mirrim.

"I didn't ask you to stay behind for punishment Miss Hallows, your misfire was a happy accident."

"What do you mean sir?"

"Miss Hallows, I need to talk to you about your father."

"Oh. Did Alex ask you to?"

"Actually the headmaster did, though if he hadn't I've no doubt Alex would have brought it up. Before we start, would you prefer to have Professor McGonagall here?" Mirrim thought for a moment, and then shook her head.

"No thank you sir I'm fine." Snape nodded then sat down opposite Mirrim.

"I understand you are unsure whether or not to tell Professor Lupin." Mirrim nodded again. "Do you mean to keep your secret forever?"

"No I just, it will change things and I don't know how he'll react." Snape sighed, counselling teenage girls was not something he did for a good reason.

"Miss Hallows, I cannot tell you what to do, it is your secret and your decision, but I can tell you how I told Alex my secret." He inwardly cringed, his relationship with Alex was private, but it was the only way he could think of to help. Mirrim nodded and sat a little straighter, giving him her full attention, which made him even more uncomfortable. Snape took a deep breath.

"I knew I should tell Alex before...we were intimate." He didn't look at Mirrim as he spoke. "When I felt we were close to that stage, I told her I had something important I needed to tell her and that she should let me tell her everything before she said anything." He paused and glanced at Mirrim who nodded. "I told her everything then let her absorb it and we talked about it for awhile and it only succeeded in making us closer."

"So...you think I should tell him?"

"That's not what I meant Miss Hallows. Your secret is different to mine and yours and Lupin's relationship is different. All I mean is it is better to be straightforward and frank. When you feel it is time to tell him, tell him everything all at once and be prepared to talk about it afterwards. It won't be an easy conversation but it's one the two of you need to have if your relationship is ever going to last." Mirrim nodded and smiled slightly.

"Thank you Professor."

"You're welcome Miss Hallows. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?" Mirrim shook her head.

"I don't think so."

"Very well, you may go." Mirrim nodded and left, a lot on her mind. As Mirrim left, Snape looked down at his left arm and closed his eyes.

"Damn you Riddle!"

A/N Sorry it's short but wanted to upload it and it's now 3am! More soon!

ER


	27. Dumbledore's Advice

Lupin stared at the article in front of him. "New developments on the Wolfsbane potion" He wasn't sure why he had read it, the only person who worked hard on the potion was Severus, any developments would be found by him long before any ministry worker. The ministry were still prejudiced against werewolves and were more interested in monitoring them than helping them. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, he was reading it because of Mirrim. He was so desperate to be rid of his curse. He'd never been particularly fond of it but had resigned himself to having it for the rest of his life and now he wanted nothing more than to be rid of it, to be a normal wizard instead of one with an incurable disease. Whatever Mirrim's feelings for him, being a werewolf was always going to be an obstacle, even more so when the time came to tell her and he knew it would come. He was so terribly afraid of losing her, more afraid of that than anything else.

"_I love her too Remus." _Remus' eyes widened, that was a voice he knew well, a voice he hadn't heard for two years.

"Moony?" A low chuckle echoed in Remus' head.

"_Have you missed me human?" _

"You've been silent two years, what has brought you back?"

"_Your heart Remus, it pounds so strongly when the female is near. Makes the blood rush through your veins, ringing in my ears."_

"And...you care for her too?"

"_Oh yes Remus, she would make a very fine wolf." _Remus felt his blood run cold.

"No."

"_But Remus..."_

"I said no, Moony! You will not turn Mirrim!"

"_Imagine..." _Moony was almost growling. _"A wolf with her fiery hair."_

"NO!"

"Remus? Are you alright?" Remus looked up to see Severus standing at his door, looking concerned.

"Yes, yes I'm fine." Severus raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"Albus wishes to see you Remus."

"Oh? Do you know why?"

"No idea." Severus shrugged. "Though as he sent me to get you I'm guessing it's important." Lupin nodded, it would have been easier for Dumbledore to simply summon Remus but sending Severus not only meant that it was important but that Dumbledore wanted to see him straight away.

MLMLMLMLMLMLML

"Are you sure Mirrim, it is a big thing?"

"I know Alex but we've been together for a while, I think it's time he knew."

"Well it's your choice, though he hasn't told you his secret yet."

"I'd hardly call it a secret."

"Well an illness then, either way he hasn't told you. What if it's like...an STD? You could catch it."

"Alex we still haven't slept together."

"Exactly! Maybe that's why."

"Alex stop speculating. He'll tell me when he's ready."

"Like you're ready?" Mirrim swallowed.

"I...I'm ready to say it, I'm not ready to lose him."

"Mirrim, you don't have to tell him, not yet. Why don't you wait until you guys are ready to take that next step? Tell him before you have sex maybe, that way...if it doesn't go the way you hope...you won't regret it."

"Oh why is this so complicated?"

"Because we're crazy, falling in love with complicated men. Every time Severus clutches his arm I panic. I try not to but I'm so afraid he won't come back." Alex stared at the ground a frown on her face; Mirrim gave her a one armed hug.

"At least you know his secret, and you don't have a secret to tell him."

"I know, maybe I'm luckier than I think. So, are you going to wait?"

"Maybe it's cowardly but...yes, I'm going to wait."

"Okay. Can we stop thinking depressing thoughts now?"

"Sure" M Mirrim grinned.

"Epic. So, if you had to whom would you kiss, Hagrid or Flitwick?"

"You're sick, do you know that."

"Yes I know, so which one?"

MLMLMLML

"You wanted to see me headmaster?"

"Ah, Remus, Severus, I did. Do come in." Remus swallowed nervously, Dumbledore looked like he had something serious to say.

"I wanted to know Remus, if you plan on telling Miss Hallows your secret anytime soon." Remus blinked in surprise

"I...I'm not sure Albus. I suppose...I know I need to tell her soon..." He trailed off. He knew all right, but he didn't want to think about it. Snape and Dumbledore shared a look; Lupin was too distracted to notice.

"You cannot put it off forever my boy. Severus didn't wait as long as you have to tell Miss Roberts' his secret." Snape scowled but said nothing. Remus nodded.

"So I should tell her?" Dumbledore sighed.

"It is not my place to tell you what to do about this Remus, but the longer you leave it, the harder it shall be." Remus closed his eyed in defeat, he knew Dumbledore was right and knew it was less advice than instruction. Mirrim deserved to know before the relationship went too far. If she couldn't handle it, better to end things before they fell completely for each other. There was no two ways about it; he had to tell her, even if it meant losing her.

"You are right of course, Albus, she needs to know." Dumbledore placed a comforting hand on Remus' shoulder.

"I know it is hard Remus and I am sorry." Remus nodded.

"I...I need to go." Dumbledore nodded and Remus left quickly, needing to think. Snape turned to Dumbledore.

"Must you keep involving me in this, Albus?"

"You are the only one in a similar situation."

"It is not similar! It's totally different! Alex is not Miss hallows, Remus is not me! It is not the same Albus! It is not!" He left as quickly as Remus had. Dumbledore shook his head. He knew that Snape was terrified of Voldemort finding out about Alex and using her somehow. Two people who'd faced so much hardship finally got a chance at happiness and a whole load of new problems came with it and, as so often seemed to happen these days, Voldemort was responsible for so much of it.

"Will you never stop Tom?"


	28. Telling Mirrim

Lupin frowned at himself in the mirror than slowly turned looking himself over. He frowned again, he just couldn't see it. Whatever Mirrim saw in him, he just didn't see it. Not that it really mattered. Whatever she saw in him was likely to be eclipsed by the fact he was a werewolf, a fact which would no doubt send Mirrim out of his arms and out of his life for good.

He was waiting in his office for her and trying to keep from pacing, he was worked up enough as it was. He had thought about it and realised that it was unfair to keep it from her any longer, Dumbledore had been right, Mirrim needed to know before they got too involved. Of course, Lupin was too involved already. Losing Mirrim was going to hurt incredibly but it would be worse for them to continue their relationship without him being honest with her.

He once again cursed his bad luck and that fact he'd managed to feel something for someone, it could never have lasted, not with what he was.

"_Don't tell her Remus."_

"I have to. She deserves to know."

"_Not yet Remus, please, not yet."_

"What difference does it make when I tell her?"

"_Let her fall in love with us, and then she may stay."_

"She will never stay Moony, not when she learns the truth."

"_Let me bite her!"_

"NO!"

"_Yes! Let me make her a wolf! She would stay then!"_

"I said no, Moony!" A knock at the door ended the argument as Lupin tensed. He swallowed hard then braced himself, opening the door. Mirrim smiled at him as she entered.

"Hello Remus." She said brightly. Lupin tried not to moan, he doubted she would ever smile at him like that again and damn if it didn't hurt! Mirrim frowned slightly at his expression. "Are you alright?"

"Actually Mirrim, I have something I need to talk to you about."

"Okay." He gestured to the chair on one side of his desk then sat across from her. It was to put distance between them but she didn't seem to notice the significance, looking at him patiently, waiting for him to speak. He looked at her for a second, memorising her, then looked at his desk.

"There is...something you need to know Mirrim." He took a breath. "The reason I am...indisposed once a month." He looked up at her and she nodded. He swallowed hard, struggling to find the words. "I have...a condition. It is incurable and...lifelong. I thought you should know before we go any further." Mirrim looked surprised but gave him a small reassuring smile.

"Is it...contagious?"

"Not exactly. Mirrim...it's not an illness, not in the way you think."

"I don't understand."

"Mirrim..." He took a deep breath, Merlin this was killing him. "I'm...a werewolf."

MLMLML

A/N Sorry I know it's short. I just thought it should end there, cliff-hanger and all that

Kindest Regards

ER


End file.
